


wingate gardens

by bambamboo



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alpha Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Alternate Universe - Gang World, Angst, Bisexuality, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, Lies, M/M, Mark Tuan-centric, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambamboo/pseuds/bambamboo
Summary: if you live in wingate gardens, you are the lowest of the low.mark finds himself moving into wingate.and soon, becomes involved with its residents.specifically, park jinyoung.but park jinyoung has secrets.and things get very bad, very fast.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Mark Tuan, Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

_PREFACE_

**wingate gardens**  
\- bambamboo

_//"dad. i have to leave, i'm leaving in 3 days," mark muttered, coughing at the smell of alcohol on his father's breath._

_the man said nothing, just staggered into the side of the kitchen table, hand stretching to where mark's brother joey sat, oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth._

_"dad? did you hear me? i'm moving to korea,"_

_his dad shook his head angrily and slurred out, "no....y-you have to ...look after jo-joey,"_

_joey nodded, tears beginning to spill down his withered skin._

_but mark couldn't stay._

_"no dad. i'm leaving, joey's your problem now,"_

_and then he stormed out of the room, plane ticket scrunched into his palm.//_


	2. entrance

**SEOUL** **WAS ALWAYS ALIVE WITH** the sounds of life, filled to the brim with bustling students and tired upperclassmen, constantly busy, constantly thriving. it was a place of wonder and excitement and for people like mark, it was the place to be, the place where dreams came true. he had moved to seoul a month ago, beginning a new life.

the life he had left behind was something he preferred not to dwell on, if he thought about his dying brother and absent father for too long, his heart would begin to ache. the constant feelings of guilt crunched within him when he remembered joey and his sunken face, iv drip shooting from his arm. so he refused to so much as spare his younger brother a thought, it was the only way he knew how to cope.

the move from la had come with the promise of fresh beginnings and of new people; a chance to become a new person, someone who could have friends and a job- maybe even a girlfriend too, if he was lucky. this prospect of new life had pulled him from his crumbling family and dying school applications, and dragged him to the land of hope- which for him was seoul. it had taken a while to get there. months of saving up, working overtime and sacrificing his and his brother's livlihood meant he was able to buy a plane ticket. but that was only half the journey. once he got to korea, he had no game plan. but this didn't stop him, the minute he could afford the plane ticket, he left, leaving joey in a tumbling pile of tears on the floor.

he had always assumed life would be better in seoul, he had never intended to end up in wingate gardens, the thought had never even crossed his mind.

*

  
the minute his tiny plane landed at seoul national airport, he made his move- eyes searching for an estate agents. seoul being an epitome for tourism and travel, he spotted one immediately, neon lights flickering above it, reading **HOUSE CORPS**. the building looked at least 20 years old, coated in a rotting white varnish that was peeled and chipped. it was squat and sunken, shrouded by the skyscrapers enclosing it- mark wondered how it hadn't been shut down. what with korea's thriving architecture, the place seemed like a blemish, almost pleading to be pulled down.

but it's dirty walls brought hope to mark, surely a place like this would be able to offer him a house he could afford, it certainly wasn't anywhere a rich man would be buying his house.

rain drizzled lazily from the hazy grey clouds above him, suddenly bringing him back to america in his mind. where he lived, there were always murky skies filled with clouds adamant that they would never release raindrops, but remain hanging in the air. the chill that swept across him as he crossed the street was familiar too. he shook himself, this was his fresh start. so he banished the feelings of familiarity and forgot about america, making his way into the rundown estate agents.

warmth greeted him as he surveyed the interior of the building. it was pretty nodescript, a small table filling up most of the empty space. so, he turned his attention to the woman at the desk, dressed in all white and wearing a glaring fake smile. she had looked him up and down, licking her lips as she did so and if he was being honest, he wasn't surprised. joey had always joked that he was good-looking and when his mother had been around, she would make sure to always tell him he was handsome.

and he was handsome: slender nose, broad shoulders and a seemingly perfect smile. ever since he could remember, women would react the same way around him, quietly checking him out, and this korean estate agent was no different.

mark shook his head and grinned at her, confidently saying, "i'm looking for the cheapest rent you have please,"

she seemed oddly startled at this request, almost as though she had failed to notice mark's ripped t-shirt and faded jeans, as though she was shocked that he wanted the cheapest option. her inital shock was immediately overrun by a different emotion, perhaps disappointment, perhaps regret. either way, her face flushed and she looked down at her shoes, "i have a place down wingate gardens available,"

"how much is the rent?"

"300 won a week, is that okay?"

it was startlingly cheap. mark's brows furrowed, how on earth was it so cheap? he knew it was all he could afford, 20p didn't feel like a lot, but he had come with almost nothing, he knew this was the offer he would have to take. but that didn't stop him from beginning to worry.

the agent obviously noticed his anxiousness, and adressed it immediately, "listen, the house is okay- warm water, a bed, kitchen appliances....it's so cheap because....because.."

she paused and shivered slightly, hunching her shoulders, "because of the... unsavoury.. people who live there..."

mark cocked his head questioningly, trying to hide his excitement by the idea that he could afford a place with _warm_ water- he didn't even have that back in america. but still, the prospect of these 'unsavoury' people caused his heart to beat faster in anticipation.

"what... people?" he asked.

"they're..not exactly friendly, and don't really like new people. but i'm sure you'll be fine- they seem to like boys your age,"

he grimaced, already imagining these residents in his head. he had encountered many similar before, they were all over his neighbourhood in america, so much so that he couldn't count the number of times he had been beaten up in a dingy alley near his house.

"i'll take it," he murmered, placing his hands on the desk.

this was his start. his big shot at turning his life around.

and he was sure that he'd be able to make a better life for himself at wingate, even if he had to get beaten a couple times to make it.

the woman smiled grimly and handed him a rusty key and a clipboard, "fill out this form, hand over 300 won and i'll get my associate to show you the place"

mark nodded and started filling in the sketchy piece of paper clipped to the board, handing over his email address, phone number and emergency contacts (although his emergency contact was just his old number- he had no-one who would be there for him in an emergency).

after a few minutes, he handed the clipboard back, along with 300 won he had managed to dig out from the bottom of his backpack, thankful that he had brought a little bit of korean money with him.

she nodded curtly, receiving the items with a short bow.

shortly after, a stout man appeared, with rounded glasses and a stern look that put mark on edge. he spoke hurried korean as he motioned for mark to follow him to the backdoor, his surly back coming into view.

mark stood, with hunched shoulders, and followed him, carefully stepping over the unguarded grate and dodging the long brambles that strangled the door frame. again, he was surprised the place hadn't been shut down- but perhaps it stayed alive solely to serve people like him. perhaps people like him didn't deserve to enter real society and go to a _real_ estate agents.

either way, mark continued following the man, who was now strangely silent, as they began to weave through dank alleyways, thrusting mark once again into his old world. the alleys were all too familiar, the smell of urine, the graffiti coated walls, the intense sense that someone is standing right behind you....

it felt like hours of walking through these dingy tunnels before the man finally came to a stop, clearing his throat and pointing to a brick archway that read _Wingate Gardens_ in crooked lettering.

"it's through there," he grumbled, "have fun mr tuan, stay safe," and then he disappeared, weaving his way back to his office, leaving mark abandoned underneath the arch.

he couldn't help but shiver, the rusty letters sending nervous tingles up his spine. this was it. his new beginning.


	3. darkness

**STRAINING HIS ALREADY TIRED** eyes, mark tried to peer through the gaps in the fence to see if anyone was around, and saw flashes of a person pass by. at once, his breath hitched.

he waited a moment, hoping they had gone, before taking out the key the woman with the fake smile had given him and unlocking the creaking gate.

it sounded like a million hushed voices called out as he entered, and suddenly he felt invisible eyes trailing over him. sweat tricked down the back of his neck, as he craned it to spot another person, the owners of the eyes looking him up and down.

mark couldn't see anyone, wingate gardens seemed desolate: a small paved courtyard surrounded on all sides by tall apartment blocks that pulled a shadow over the whole place.

lights were off in all the windows and not a person was in sight. he could almost picture a tumble weed blowing gently across the uneven cobblestones.

his hands clammy and shaking, he took cautious steps further into the courtyard, still unable to make out a single other human. the sky had darkened quickly, and he found the lack of human life and slowly blackening night unseemly, like something was out to get him.

once again, he shivered, and wrapped his thin hoodie tighter around his waist.

he could back out now if he wanted to, go back to the estate agents and ask for a less foreboding place. but he couldn't bare the thought of defeat, this place- however sinister it might've been- was his home, and he would be safe.

cracked cobblestones meant he had to look down as he walked, so he wouldn't trip. paranoia began to rise up the back of his throat like bile as he pictured what kinds of people could be waiting for him in the shadows as he stared at his feet.

but still, he walked on, reaching the middle of the courtyard and taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"c'mon tuan..you can do this," he murmered to himself in english, looking around at the four buildings that surrounded him to try and figure out which one was his.

he wished it was morning, more than anything. so at least he could see what each building was. from what the woman with the fake smile had said, two were apartments and two were facilities like a gym and a cleaning room.

he sighed and called out into the night, "is anyone there? i need help!" he hoped for two things. one: that his korean was understandable. and two: that _if_ a person were to appear, they wouldn't try and stab him.

there was a shuffling sound from behind him, and suddenly, the sound of footsteps. his breath lodged in his chest, someone was coming.

mark waited anxiously as the footsteps drew nearer until eventually he saw a person materialise from the shadows, almost as though he was made from the shadows themselves.

the first thought that struck mark was that he looked practically normal: wide dark eyes, hair that was almost too blond, and pretty nondescript clothing- just a black tank and adidas shorts.

he let go of a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and turned to face the approaching man, calmer now he saw the kindness in the stranger's eyes.

"you called?" the man asked, surprising mark with his fluent english.

"i..i guess i just have literally no clue where i'm meant to go,"

"follow. be quick."

at once, the man strode off, towards the building directly behind mark. mark stared at his back for a second, dazed, before quickly following on after him.

"hey!" he called, shrugging his backpack from one shoulder to two, "hey wait up!"

the man stopped in his tracks and spun around quickly, "didn't i say be quick? if we don't hurry, the others will get here. move."

"..the..o-others?" mark took a timid step forward, caught off guard as the man grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the approaching building.

"yes. the others. you didn't really think i was the only one who lived here?"

they had reached the door to the building. from afar, mark had high hopes for the place. in the dark, it had seemed okay, structurally sound and, if he was pushing it, quite nice too. but now that he was up close, he saw every detail, every patch of spreading mould and stains he really hoped weren't piss. he shuddered and turned to the man, who stuck his palm out and asked, "key?"

mark pulled the small, coppery key out from his pocket and placed it in the man's hand. he swiftly unlocked the door and pushed mark inside.

"hurry." he said, "don't stop until you see room 7. got it?"

mark nodded, taking the key back from him and stepping into the hallway of the building.

"i'll come by yours at 9am. be ready."

"okay... could i..maybe take a name?" mark asked, "i like to know who my saviours are, y'know?" he tried to smile but the man's dead eyes caused it to drop from his face.

"jackson wang. now go before someone wakes up."

jackson started to shut the door, and for some reason, mark really didn't want him to. all the talk about 'the others' had put him on edge. was he really in actual danger? would someone really hurt him? jackson had seemed pretty tense.

the corridor he was stood in suddenly seemed ghostly, and he expected a door to fly open at any minute and a man with a knife to come charging straight for him.

"jackson?" he asked, eyes darting across the walls, "could you...maybe wait until i'm in my room to shut the door?"

jackson's face softened as he looked at mark, he could see how nervous the boy was, "sure." he said, trying to smile, "i get it- this place is creepy."

mark nodded.

"just hurry. please."

with that, mark went off down the corridor, checking every now and then to make sure jackson hadn't ditched him. his room was at the very end and he quivered.

the end of the corridor was lit only by a small flickering lightbulb that dangled on a thin piece of wire. the darkness only added to his anxiety, he felt like he was in a horror movie. he looked over to jackson, fear overtaking him. jackson rolled his eyes, mouthing "hurry."

and so, he shoved his key in the lock, jamming it around desperately until it clicked open.

he walked in, and jackson shut the door.


	4. room 7

**MARK'S EYES WANDERED** **ACROSS** the room, taking in every detail. from the thick mattress lying across the floor to the dirty sink in the corner, he couldn't help but think that it was no different from his home back in america.

images of america flashed through his mind and he had to yet again try and stomach the guilt of leaving joey behind. he refused to think about what had happened, but he couldn't help the guilt from remaining lodged in his chest.

he shuddered and turned his attention back to the room. it seemed relatively clean, not too much mould and the carpet seemed to still be white- it wasn't stained aside from an obvious coffee spillage stain underneath the bedside table.

the mattress, whilst having no bedframe, seemed quite comfortable and clean and when he peered into the bathroom, he almost cried with happiness when he saw a shiny clean showerhead.

the only problem was how dark it was, the room was lit similarly to the hallway- with one dangling lightbulb. he really, really didn't like the dark, he had always been scared of it.

but he pulled his focus from the lighting, because as he turned around to face the door, he saw a huge red graffiti on the wall. it was almost illegible but he could make out two clear letters in the centre of the design 'jy'. it looked like it had been left there on purpose, otherwise he was sure it would've been washed off by a cleaning crew or something.

he turned back around, something felt off about the graffiti, and he didn't like it.

suddenly remembering his backpack (and wanting to distract himself from the uneasiness in his chest due to the graffiti), mark shrugged it off his shoulders and started unloading it's contents.

he had brought two spare shirts with him, but that was it clothing-wise. he mentally slapped himself, he had been in such a rush to escape his house, he had forgotten to bring any underwear.

next he pulled out his almost empty wallet and sighed as he looked inside, seeing about 2000 won total. he had no clue how he'd buy food and keep up his rent with that little...he assumed he'd have to get a job. but what with his minimal korean and zero credentials, he had no idea if he'd find one.

he discarded his wallet and pulled out his phone, switching it on quickly to see 43 missed calls from friends and family back in america. the phone too, was quickly discarded.

the bag was now empty aside from his toothbrush which he brought into the bathroom. on his way out, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and frowned. he looked tired, really tired. and his hair was so greasy it clung to his forehead in small twists.

he grimaced and ran a hand through it, trying to disguise the grease. as he did so, small flakes of dirt fell out and onto the white tiles below him. a gag quickly rebounded up his throat and into his mouth and he swallowed the urge to vomit.

"right then..." he whispered to himself, "guess i'm testing out the shower..."

the water fell from the shower quickly and as he ran his hand under it, he almost cried in joy at the feeling of warm water on his skin. it especially helped that the bathtub the shower was in looked clean and white...he couldn't remember the last time he had a shower in a shower as nice as this one. the one in america had been broken and almost encased in a layer of crust and mould.

he jumped in happily, glad to see a small bottle of body wash on the side of the tub, like in hotels. he wasn't sure how or why it was there, but he was grateful to be able to rub the dirt from his tired body.

after his shower, he went straight over to the mattress and collapsed on it, not even finding the strength to set an alarm for the following morning.

____

mark had assumed he would've been cut some slack. 

his first day at wingate had started with him ditching his dying brother. then, he had boarded a plane which took so long that he almost regretted getting on it to begin with. he had struggled at security, not being able to understand anything and somehow managed to get a guard so riled up that a manager came and kicked him out of the airport. 

and the move to wingate hadn't exactly been easy either. he had to go to the dodgy estate agents with the woman with the fake smile and find the place. then he had to get there. and once he made it there, he was greeted by the scariest place he had ever seen. 

he even felt threatened when someone had come to help him, because 'the others' posed a real life, dangerous threat.

after all that shit, he had really hoped that the next day would be better and that he could just get on with life, away from threats and anger.

but no, he was awoken at 9:30am by a fuming jackson kicking his door down.

jackson stormed up to his mattress, eyes clouding over when he saw mark asleep, his mouth hanging open. he grabbed mark's shoulders, shaking them wildly. 

"i told you 9." he said surprisingly calmly after mark had drifted into consciousness, "we had to be up at 9." 

mark groaned and sat up on his elbows, leaning to look jackson in the eyes, "...what?" 

jackson rolled his eyes, despairing at mark failing to follow simple instructions, "last night. i told you last night, up at 9 sharp." 

mark cocked his head, "..does..does it matter?"

"of course it matters you dipshit." 

"..why? i'm only..." he turned his wrist to look at his watch, "like..30 minutes late," 

  
"listen here," jackson said, staring harder at mark, "if you wanna survive here, you gotta take things seriously. half an hour means everything at wingate. everyone else will be awake now, which means _you_ can't leave safely. nice one."

jackson suddenly got up with no explanation, and whipped his head to look behind him at mark's door, where the graffiti was. he threw a hand to his heart, "thank fuck," and looked back at mark, "see that drawing on the wall?"

mark bit his lip, "yeah...it's freaking me out a tad,"

"don't be freaked out. it means you're on my side." he paused and then whispered to himself, "he's on my side. that's good. he's safe."

mark began to pull himself from his mattress and smooth out his clothes, not breaking eye contact with jackson. he didn't like how he felt lying in bed, he felt vulnerable and useless, like jackson could just trample all over him.

"your side?" he asked after jackson had finished whispering to himself.

"yes my side. don't worry about it. just...stay here for a few."

mark could tell that wingate was alive now that jackson was quiet, staring at him. he could hear the slow creak of a floorboard above him, the angry shouts of two people in an argument. he was even sure he could smell bacon cooking and a petrol car driving past.

jackson pushed him lightly on the shoulder, "buddy? you went quiet. can i trust you to stay here till i get back?"

mark nodded, "yeah..go and do whatever weird thing you need to do"

"whatever," jackson grumbled as he pushed the door open and walked out, calling, "remember to lock the door...as best you can. i made the hinges a little loose,"

once jackson was out of earshot, mark grumbled to himself, "my first day in korea and i can't just have a lie in... honestly...what is with this guy? straight up kicking my door open, who the hell does he think he is?"

he sat back on the mattress, "should i go out just to annoy him?"

he smirked to himself, "couldn't hurt right?"


	5. call my name

**BEFORE HE HAD TIME TO** **REALITY** check, mark was out of the door and back into the stingey corridor. his eyes flashed around, suddenly nervous as jackson's warnings popped up in his head.

he shook them away, he wasn't a wimp, he could go outside in his _own home._

it made him oddly satisfied to think how pissed jackson would be to know he disregarded his instructions. he hurried down the corridor, not quite ridding himself of the fear that he was in danger.

the minute he stepped outside of the building, the world felt alive. there were people, real people, wandering through the courtyard. some chatting to each other, some striding off by themselves and a few who just seemed to stand there, eyes trained on every person who passed.

mark couldn't help the excitement get to him, he had so many neighbors, so many people to talk to. even if he was an introvert, it was nice to have friends and people who cared about him. the only person he had in korea was jackson, and he wasn't sure that jackson was all too fond of him.

he desperately wanted to flag someone down to talk to but they all seemed so busy, footsteps flying over the cobblestones, heading into the various buildings that enclosed wingate.

so instead, he took a moment to take everything in. despite the four towering buildings, lots of light managed to filter into the courtyard, lighting up the whole place and making it look a lot less foreboding than it did last night. the courtyard was lined with thick cobblestones, many of them cracked or wobbly, but still quaint and relatively pretty.

in the centre of the courtyard, was a small square of dying grass, which he hadn't noticed last night. a few people were sat on it, chatting animatedly to one another. he smiled, he hoped he could sit there with some friends soon, even if it was in the middle right where everyone could see you.

he turned his attention to the buildings themselves. aside from the one he had just emerged from which was grimy and dirty, the others looked pretty nice. and after a couple minutes of watching, he figured out which building was which.

it seemed that many people emerged with clean washing or crates of food from the building to his left, so he assumed that was where the canteen and washing machines were. the building ahead of him seemed to be the gym and to the left....

to the left was jackson, storming right for him. so he figured it must've been another block of flats, and where jackson lived.

he gulped, jackson did not look happy.

"what the fuck" jackson shouted as he drew closer, "i told you to say inside."

his eyes were stormy, eyebrows drawn down- he looked insanely angry and he glanced around nervously, suddenly noticing all the eyes on him. apparently his shout had drawn the attention of several people.

"ey jackson," someone shouted, "keep it down, fucker,"

jackson rolled his eyes, "shut your face bambam. this is serious."

mark crossed his arms and turned to face jackson. jackson reached him and shoved his shoulders hard, making mark stumble and fall back, "when i tell you something, listen."

mark glared at him, "you're..not the boss of me, jackson,"

jackson opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by someone else, calling from a remote corner of the courtyard, "yo wang, who is that?"

jackson sighed angrily, "this is exactly what i didn't want." he whispered to mark, teeth gritted.

mark shrugged, "i'm mark." he called back, causing everyone to look at him, whispers breaking out among them.

jackson grabbed his hand, and pulled him close, "don't squirm. we're leaving."

mark tried to twist his hand away but jackson's grip was strong and he found himself being dragged back into the corridor of his building.

once they were in the safety of the corridor, where apparently, none of the other tenants currently were, jackson pulled a hand back and slapped mark across the face.

"mark you fucking idiot," he seethed, "you gave them your name? really?"

the side of mark's face burned and he brought a hand up to it, tears pricking his eyes, "but..they're just my neighbors? can't they know my name?"

"no! i swear i fucking told you this."

"okay....sorry..." mark's face still hurt.

"too late now."


	6. honestly

**AFTER JACKSON HAD SLAPPED HIM** and explained to him that he should share nothing about his life to anyone, mark had been led down another long corridor. it was as stingy and badly-lit as the others he had been down, however, it smelt worse.

mark was sure that someone had _definitely_ pissed in the hallway and he groaned, watching his footsteps- just in case.

jackson took him up at least three flights of stairs and three more equally disgusting corridors before they stopped outside an apartment.

"listen," jackson said, as he leant against the door of room 2209, "i've fucked up this introduction a little bit". the brass letters hanging from the door behind him were blackened and covered in a layer of soot, and when jackson pulled out a cigarette, mark figured he must've spent hours outside of the door for the smoke to have covered the metal. jackson clicked the lighter on, taking a few attempts to catch the cigarette on fire before shoving it in his mouth and taking a quick drag. he sighed happily as he blew the smoke back out, tendrils drifting into mark's face.

mark coughed as he inhaled the smoke, choking out the words, "how so?"

"well..." jackson started, sucking on the cigarette again, "i uh.. haven't really been helpful...all i've done is scare you," he looked down at his shoes and a slow blush crept onto his face.

mark almost grinned watching the embarrasment spread across his cheeks. it was funny to him. in the few hours that he had been with jackson, the boy had been stern and fierce, hardly ever uttering more than a few clipped words at a time. mark had just assumed that he was emotionless, or very very bad at welcoming new people. either way, seeing him bashful was a new experience for the american and he suddenly grew a little more comfortable being around jackson.

mark rolled his eyes as he thought about what jackson had said, "so.... what's it like here then? wanna tell me what life is like here"

it was at moments like this that mark was thankful jackson could speak english, it made the conversation much easier.

"shit. really shit. and i should've told you before you settled in" jackson hung his head in shame, not able to look mark in the eyes. he looked like he wanted to explain further but he kept his mouth shut, instead stubbing his cigarette out on the wall outisde room 2209. due to the small black specks covering the wall, mark assumed he did this a lot. jackson's eyes met his again suddenly, now the cigarette had been disposed of. they were hard again- just as they had been when the pair had first met. "there are some dodge people here" he said by way of explanation, "like.. people who wanna kill you."

he paused and laughed to himself, "but most people here are just losers- like me. no harm, no foul."

mark opened his mouth to reply, anger bubbling up through him about to burst out when the door jackson was leaning on swung open slightly. it held back by a metal chain so mark could only see a shadow through the crack that was open. the shadow shifted slightly and jackson sighed, "gimme like 5 secs jinyoung,"

the door swung shut with a metal clang and mark remained quiet, eyes trained fiercely on jackson. he was waiting for an explanation.

jackson's eyes darted to the door, and then to his watch. his foot tapped against the floor, "look. let me just tell you straight up. wingate is trash, hell, you're trash just for living here. there are some wankers who wanna get in your pants or steal all your money. but overall, we're a pretty sad bunch of crackheads and failures. people will try to kill you, that's just a fact of life. there's a whole group of people who want you dead. and you should've left when you had the chance, but now park won't let you leave,"

the sentences that sprung from jackson as he anxioulsy blurted the truth to mark were the longest mark had ever heard him say since meeting him and if he was being honest, he had zoned out for like, half of it. however, a look of indignation still crossed his face, "so you could've prevented my death? and you chose not to? and you fucking slapped me!?"

"now now, that slap was fair, you did just announce your name to a whole courtyard of potential criminals," jackson fired back, throwing his hands up like he was surrendering. a gloating grin drifted onto his face, "besides, it's normally this kid called yugyeom who welcomes newbies. let's just say i'm inexperienced,"

"still...you're a bit of a dickhead for doing that... didn't yug...yu-yugyeom tell you to not warn the new neighbour that he might die," mark asked, struggling with the pronouciation of jackson's friend's name a little.

jackson chuckled, "yugyeom." he emphasized, "and no, he didn't. i wouldn't listen to that idiot though. so.. and he couldn't even tell me anyway...."

an awkward silence descended onto the pair as jackson, once again, looked at his watch. he lifted his hand to knock on the door where the shadow had been but mark stopped him, gripping him by the wrist and dragging his arm back down.

if he was being honest, he was quite proud of that move, he felt like he was finally showing he wasn't a gullible coward. jackson did look surprised, turning to mark with raised eyebrows.

"i was wondering..." mark asked, his newfound confidence disappearing in an instant, "how'd you end up here anyway?" he wondered what jackson had done to end up in a place like wingate, curiosity filling him, he suddenly started to worry if maybe he was face to face with a crimminal. jackson laughed again, drier this time, "i could ask you the same thing," he paused to show mark his watch, the one he had been analysing so intently during their conversation, "but there's no time, the guy behind this door is kinda impatient,"

he slammed his hand on the door, a sudden smirk jumping to his lips, "jinnieee," he called, "we're ready!"

mark almost laughed out loud, he really hadn't expected jackson to be the kind for pet names..or friends...or people in general. he managed to keep his snicker from bursting out, thankfully, he was still scared of jackson. the older was taller than him, with muscles that mark could only dream of. in a fight, jackson would make quick work of mark and his skinny frame. and now, mark had almost convinced himself that jackson was a murderer or something.. he did kinda give off that vibe.

the door, for the second time, opened quickly, although this time it was pulled back so hard and far that it almost flew off it's hinges.

"wang!" the man behind the door said, glaring at jackson, "i told you not to call me that."

"but-"

"do you want me to ask again?" the man said lowly, teeth gritted.

mark's eyes widened, he didn't think it possible but he was scarier than jackson. he took a moment to look at the stranger, who was quite plainly dressed in a black sweater and jeans. for some reason, mark could imagine him in chains and eyeliner, wearing hundreds of piercings. he really looked like he would suit it, but he had remained very plain. his hair, however, was washed and blowdried perfectly and mark ran a hand through his own locks self consciously. he couldn't even remember the last time he brushed it, let alone styled it.

jackson pointed to him, pulling his eyes from the stranger, "park, this is the newbie."   
jackson's voice had grown quiet and weak, although mark could still hear the smirk in his voice. the stranger looked him up and down, "you had red graffiti on your door- correct?"

mark looked frantically over to jackson, not ready to talk to 'park'. jackson nodded, mouthing, "yeah, it was red bud,"

park cocked an eyebrow at him, muttering, "well...?"

"yeah...it was red, on my door," mark replied, his words stumbling over each other. he couldn't look park in the eyes, there was something about him that almost made mark want to vomit. and here he was thinking _jackson_ was scary.

park remained quiet, so mark decided to go on, "i also..i dunno but yeah... it maybe said 'jy' on it too... i think it did i-"

he was interupted by park bursting into laughter, an offputting sort of laugh that put mark on edge, "you don't have to be so scared," he said, covering his mouth with his hand, eyes crinkling as he laughed. he looked almost beautiful.. but judging by the amount he was laughing, mark imagined he didn't get out much.

jackson was laughing now too, although he looked unbeliveably more uncomfortable than park did. there was no doubt that he was laughing just to please park. he slapped mark on the shoulder, "loosen up mate, we're just two guys,"

mark sighed, rubbing a hand over his face agitatedly, "do you all just love scaring people?" despite his indignant tone, he couldn't help but still look at park with fear. even if park was laughing now, mark just felt like there was something really wrong with him- that he was evil. it was a just a feeling, and he knew he shouldn't trust it but the man had a certain glint in his eyes that made mark nervous.

"yeah." park nodded, "this place is boring otherwise."

"anyway," jackson spoke up, "i guess we should let him meet the others. get him settled in?"

"actually...could you maybe explain everything? i'm confused...i'm confused on whether you're scary or not.. and what the graffiti means.. and just- everything," he paused, having to choke down tears, "what even is wingate?!? what have i dragged myself into?!?!?!?"

jackson sighed, "well fuck," 


	7. the boss

**JACKSON'S LAST WORDS HUNG** **IN** the air as mark's eyes bore into him, pleading desperately for answers. his hands shook, he couldn't help it. they trembled helplessly at his sides and jackson's eyes remained on his, anger slowly but surely seeping into them. jackson didn't say anything though, just glared at mark, the older's question remaining unanswered.

park watched the silent friction between the two, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. the smile widened as he placed a hand on mark's shoulder causing mark to tear his eyes away from jackson.

"listen new kid, there are things that you should know. and there are things that you shouldn't," his gaze hardened, "don't ever question me again. if i want to tell you something, i'll tell you,"

"but-" mark started, but jinyoung cut him off with a simple glare.

jackson turned to look at park, muttering through his teeth, "the graffiti. he can know about that," to which park's anger rose and he whispered something irritatedly back, eyes full of hatred.

mark watched as park and jackson proceeded to engage in a heated debate which lasted for several minutes. he could only catch a few words here and there, frustrated that they wouldn't explain anything to him. the last few weeks had been so long and tiring for him, he had made so many difficult decisions and lost so many important people. it felt like his whole world had crashed in front of his feet, leaving him breathless and alone. and now he was finally getting a new start, but he was stuck in an estate with so many secrets that he felt like screaming.

mark had expected to move into wingate, maybe meet a few friends, get a job and forget about everything that had happened in america. forget about his dying brother, how it had felt when the doctors had told him he only had a few months yet.

but the only two people he had met were mean and secretive. in fact, he had no idea how dangerous wingate really was, was he safe? was he not? all the secrets and lies had thrown him off.

either way, he was in over his head. he just wanted to know what was going on.

jackson and park were still arguing in the same quiet voices, their incessant whispers only stopping when park shouted, "FINE," and pushed jackson away from him. mark cocked his head and jackson rolled his eyes, "follow park." he groaned as park began to stride off down the corridor.

mark sighed, "more corridors...fucking brilliant,"

jackson shoved his back, making him stumble towards the doors that park had now disappered through, "hurry up newbie."

he started to walk off but mark stood rooted in place, beginning to wonder if he should just forget about jackson and park and go back to his room. he yawned, tiredness from jackson waking him up so early suddenly hitting him, it had been so long since he had had a good night's sleep.

jackson was now several paces ahead of him, and hadn't turned around to check that he was behind him. it was his chance to leave.

mark knew deep down that it was a bad idea to wander off, afterall, jackson knew where he lived and he assumed park did too. they (for some reason mark had yet to find out), were obssessed with him, it felt like. from the minute mark entered wingate, they hadn't left him alone. it seemed as though they cared _too much_ about him, and would be angry if they found out he ditched them.

but mark liked breaking the rules, as he had proved only yesterday when he had told the whole of wingate his name, disobeying jackson.

so, he hurried off in the opposite direction to the two strangers/neighbours/whoever they were. it didn't sound like they noticed, mark heard no shouts telling him to come back, just their receeding footsteps. he grinned to himself, almost running down the corridor now.

his mood had improved significantly now he knew park and jackson weren't with him anymore, hope began to sink back in. maybe he could live a good life in wingate, if he just avoided their secrets and whatever the hell the graffiti was. if he remained oblivious, he would be fine.

however, he spoke too soon. it was almost as though he had forgotten that it wasn't just jackson and park who lived in wingate.

for as he was walking down the corridor, an extra spring in his step, he came face to face with a new person. at a first glance, he looked like a foreigner. mark wasn't sure how he knew, he just knew that the boy in front of him wasn't korean. the boy looked at him with wide eyes and as mark studied his face, he was sure he had seen him before, maybe just in passing, but he recognised the shock of white blond hair and deep set eyes circled by black eyeliner.

the boy laughed awkwardly, "not to be annoying buttt...you're sorta in my way there bud.."

it was then mark realised that he had come to a complete stop, he had been so distracted by the new face that his feet had forgotten how to walk. he sighed, the hallway was small and he was directly blocking the stranger.

"sorry..." he muttered, looking down at his shoes as he slid out of the way. but the boy didn't walk by him, instead, he crossed his arms and looked intently at mark.

"you're mark, aren't you?," he began, "i'm bambam, you can call me double b if you want though,"

mark took a double take, the stranger in the hallway knew his name, "how do you know my-"

"i'm a pyschic," bambam replied, chuckling to himself.

mark almost believed him for a second before remembering that bambam had been present in the courtyard when he had announced his name. he remembered because bambam had been one of the people to shout at jackson, telling him he was being too loud. he had almost forgotten it was so insignificant.

"whatever.." mark grumbled, "just leave me alone...."

he went to move around bambam so he could contiune down the corridor but the boy shifted slightly, now stood directly in front of mark.

"wait!! my pyschic powers are telling me you have some red graffiti on your front door.." bambam said as mark tried and failed to squeeze past him again, "and that you just ditched park jinyoung,"

"look bambam, i don't even know you. can you please just let me through?," mark said, rolling his eyes, only growing more frustrated as he saw the smirk that now adorned bambam's lips. the boy still refused to move, and was now gripping mark by the shoulders.

bambam's smirk slowly melted into a smile as he held mark and watched him struggle to escape, "woah cowboy," he giggled as mark ripped himself away and began to stumble down the corridor.

as mark got further and further away from bambam, his muscles began to tense- he realised he was walking in the direction of park's room.. and potentially park himself. he was thinking of turning back and hoping that bambam had already left when he heard the pounding of feet behind him and a scream of, "WAIT MARK! i can tell you about the graffiti if you want! just don't go,"

he sighed and spun around to face bambam again, "why do you care so much? ...who even are you?"

"i'm a friend of jackson and i know park...listen, i can answer all your questions, i don't mind if i have to explain everything. just come with me- there's only bad people down the next few corridors and you should really come this way," bambam explained, his breath ragged from the small amount of running he had done.

mark pursed his lips, "okay...i guess i'll come... you can definitely explain everything right?"

"is the pope catholic?" bambam said, linking his arm with mark and pulling them both back to where mark assumed his room was.

"i don't actually know-"

"he is. oh, and my friend yugyeom will be there too. don't worry, he's on our side," they had now stopped outside room 0205 and bambam was sifting through his pockets for a key.

"our side?"

"oh my god! i forgot you don't know! i guess you'll find out what that means once we get to my room."

and with that, bambam pulled out his key and slid it into the lock. the door swung open to reveal not only a stranger mark assumed to be yugyeom.....but park and jackson too.


	8. an explanation

**PARK STOOD UP FIRST WALKING** over to where mark stood in the doorway, "we're here to explain."

jackson nodded behind him, face void of all emotion, "yep. we figured we hadn't given you a proper welcome yet."

if he was being honest, mark wanted to punch jackson right in the face when he said that. the boy already struck a nerve with him, there was something about his demeanor that mark did not like. maybe it was how detached and cruel he seemed to be or maybe he just didn't like the way he kept so many secrets when mark just wanted to know what was going on.

but when it all came down to it, mark just really hated strangers. and he really hated that so many had surrounded him all in the space of 2 days. it was too much and mark hated jackson for starting it all.

he wanted to turn away, mutter out some jumbled korean about not caring about what they had to say and go straight back to his room. he wanted to flop onto the bed and go back to sleep or just stare at the ceiling and think about everything that had happened.

mark was starting to feel overwhelmed.

but before he could walk out the door, bambam, the newest person he had just met who he maybe disliked a tiny bit less than the other two, pushed him into the room. park at once grabbed him by the wrist and sat him down on a faded grey mattress covered in suspect stains.

the room he was in was dark, just like his own. but as he looked around, he noticed there was litter and random objects everywhere. a box of colouring pens on the floor, a half empty mug of red liquid pushed into the corner, a small metal tray covered in cacti. the room was a tip and mark looked to bambam, eyebrows raised. bambam did not look after his place well.

it was then that mark noticed the stranger in the room, yugyeom? was that his name? he couldn't really remember.

either way, the boy stayed quiet, watching mark from where he sat leaning against the wall with silent eyes. he looked hollow, empty, like there was something missing. his red shirt hung off his shoulders limply and his skinny jeans were baggy on him. when he looked up to make eye contact with mark, he saw that rings of dark encircled his eyes.

park cleared his throat causing mark to turn and look at him, "you're not gonna like this." he muttered, "but here's the deal with wingate..."

he pointed a finger to the graffiti on the back of bambam's door, mark recognised it, seeing as it was the same as the one on his, "see that? that determines what gang you're in," park began to explain, dropping his arm and placing it on his thigh, "wingate went through some serious shit a couple years ago. arguments and whatever and we all decided we would split into 4 groups."

bambam piped up now, "it was to help keep everyone here in check. when i arrived oh my god it was the literal worst. people were fighting 24/7"

jackson nodded, "if you're not an idiot i'm sure you've figured out park is in charge of reds,"

mark's eyes tracked to the graffiti again, "why the graffiti?"

"prevents arguments of who gets who," park said simply, "anyway. you're in our gang. that means i look after you and you report to me. and you make sure to avoid everyone who's not a red. got it?"

mark nodded and swallowed nervously, he was beginning to hate park even more than jackson.

"who are the other groups?" mark asked.

jackson grimaced, worried eyes glancing to park, "we don't talk about them. gets park all riled up,"

"i thought you said you would explain everything?!"

"FINE. jaebeom runs blue, chan runs green, sungjin runs yellow- happy now?" jackson said, glaring angrily at mark.

the room had grown tense, like everyone around mark was holding their breath; waiting for park to snap. all eyes were on park and his eyes which were clouding over. mark shivered as he watched the anger seeping through him.

park was scary.

bambam chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair, "we... we should explain something else maybe?"

"....okay," mark said, though his stare never left park who was shaking with rage. he would explode any second, "what do you have to say?"

"what do you want to know?" jackson shot back. he folded his arms and looked at mark grumpily, "we're not exactly mind readers,"

bambam laughed again, "i'm a psychic though- right mark?"

mark didn't respond, bambam was beginning to get on his nerves. he wanted to leave. he wanted to find out the truth though, so he stayed. park seeming to chill out helped to calm his nerves too. he was now sat next to mark glancing around observantly.

"why gangs?" he asked suddenly, "surely you all fight,"

park nodded, eyes dark, "we haven't got on for a while now. we didn't think it would happen.... but certain events led to a lot of conflict.."

"see?" jackson said, "you shoulda been careful. the longer you can go without being asked about your faction, the better. but now they all fucking know your name."

"...why does it matter? is it serious?"

"deadly. if people from other gangs see you alone, they kill you. that's why i sent bambam to get you," park glanced over to bambam and nodded almost like he was confirming something with himself, "i think it's time bam took you back."

"but i have more questions!" came the indignant reply. even if he did have more questions, mark was secretly quite glad he'd be able to go back to room 7.

"well tough luck buddy," jackson smirked, "you'll have to stay curious. we'll have someone get you at 9 tomorrow."

"we have more to do. more to tell you about, and you'll have to spend your time with us now. you're part of the family." park agreed, standing up and walking the short distance over to the front door. bambam followed, smiling comfortingly at mark.

mark looked quickly over to yugyeom, who was now scrolling through his phone. the boy confused him, he had hardly even acknowledged mark's presence and hadn't said a word the whole afternoon.

once he and bambam were outside in the corridor and walking back to his apartment (thank god), mark brought it up, "who was that guy? in the corner?... does he like...say anything,"

bambam looked down at his hands, feet speeding up unexpectedly. he looked uncomfortable, face twisting in an emotion that mark couldn't explain. although seeing it on bambam's face sent butterflies to his stomach. as much as bambam had gotten on his nerves in the last few hours, mark also couldn't help but like him a lot.

he was cheerful and funny and seemed to genuinely want to help mark.

"bambam?" he asked, "what's up with him?"

bambam faultered in the middle of the hallway, hurt travelling through him, "he just can't talk- okay?"

"but why?" mark asked as bambam picked up his pace again.

"i don't want to talk about it."

"bambam please!"

"ENOUGH," bambam roared, turning to mark with fire in his eyes, "that's fucking enough mark,"

"woah," mark said, stepping backwards and away from bambam who was now seething, "...i'm sorry," he whispered.

bambam sagged, "i'm sorry too...it's just.. a sensitive topic for me and him. i'm sure you'll find out at some point."

mark nodded and the pair descended into silence until they reached mark's front door.

"before i go," bambam said as mark sifted through his pockets for a key, "do you have any more questions?"

"yeah.. what's park's real name? and why is he... y'know.. so angry about the gangs and shit?"

bambam sighed.

"can't answer this either?" mark asked to which bambam shook his head.

"no.. i can. it's just pretty deep," he started, "his real name is park jinyoung.. but he doesn't really like people using his real name, he likes the power or something i guess,"

"and he's angry because....?" mark led, beginning to grow impatient as bambam let a sort of half silence settle.

"he's not angry. he's upset. and it's not about the gangs... it's about the leader of the blues. im jaebeom." bambam explained, "they used to date. jaebeom used to be on jinyoung's side, but then he dumped him and park got super angry. believe it or not, park used to be kinda like me. he liked to joke and have a laugh.. he used to be pretty cool and wise and i guess just fun to talk to," he laughed remorse flooding into the ironic chuckles, "but then jaebeom happened. and he forgot how to be a friend,"

mark nodded slowly, taking it all in. he smirked slightly, "i can't imagine him so much as laughing, let alone making a joke,"

bambam looked a little irritated by that, "look he was fucking amazing okay- and i miss him a lot... just go inside. i'll be back at 9,"

and with that, he strode away. mark watched him leave, kind of shocked by his loyalty to park. the man was a dickhead.

he shrugged, maybe there was something he was missing.

still, he couldn't imagine park as a nice person.


	9. new friends

"markieeeee!!"

mark was jolted awake by a sudden screech beside his ear. he jumped, eyes snapping open to reveal bambam lying on the floor next to him.

"huh?" he grunted, "markie?"

his voice was still thick with sleep, coming out cracked and deep. bambam smirked, "nice morning voice,"

"bambam..." mark continued, ignoring bambam's comment, "what is going on? why are you here?"

the sun was only just beginning to light up the room, a few strands of light filtering past the dusty blinds that had been set up to cover the window in the room. he knew it wasn't nearly 9am yet, and that bambam was early. he sighed and rolled onto his side.

"markie!" bambam pouted, "i wanna give you a tour! get uppppp"

mark groaned as bambam's loud chatter began to pull sleep away from him, "my name is mark,"

"nope. you're in our team, i'm your senior so i get to call you markie," bambam said, "now get up, i'm showing you wingate."

mark was now fully awake, he couldn't fall back to sleep so he sat up turning to look bambam in the eyes.

the boy's shaggy blonde hair was falling into his face and he grinned, flicking it away, "c'mon markie,"

"bambam, how old are you?" mark asked beginning to clamber off his mattress and stand up.

"18. why?"

"that makes me older than you. in korea, doesn't that mean you have to call me hyung?"

"nope," bambam said quickly, lying through his teeth, "now get dressed, the tour commences in 10 minutes!"

bambam stood up and started wandering aimlessly around the room, taking it all in. a thoughtful look crossed his face as he looked over the graffiti on the door. he walked over to it, and traced his fingers along the lines, eyes beginning to glaze over.

mark was about to speak when bambam whipped around, "now c'mon, get ready my main man,"

"wha-" mark started, wondering why bambam had become so pensive about the graffiti before the boy clamped a hand over his mouth, "no talking. more changing out of your skanky pyjamas,"

mark looked confused, running a hand over his crumped t-shirt self consciously, "these are my clothes bambam...." he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"oh god!" bambam said, a tad overdramatically, looking mark up and down, taking in his faded jeans and ripped, dirty shirt, "right first stop is my apartment, you're borrowing some of mine."

"no that's oka-"

"nonononono we're getting you new clothes," bambam said, grabbing mark's hand and pulling him towards the door. mark stumbled as bambam continued to lead him out into the corridor, somewhat confused by how bambam had found a set of the keys to his front door.

"bambam it's fin-" he tried to interject again.

"stop it mark, i wanna help you,"

"i really don't need hel-"

"just let me fucking help you mark!"

mark chuckled slightly, in a way moved by bambam and his thoughtful actions, "okay fine, but nothing too fancy okay?"

bambam nodded, "of course! vanilla clothes for a vanilla guy,"

mark just rolled his eyes and followed bambam along the corridor, bambam's palm still gripping his wrist. as it turned out, he and bambam didn't live as far away as it had seemed last night and they arrived at the apartment quickly.

"wilkommen! bienvenue!" bambam cheered, pushing open the door to reveal the same room mark had seen before, it was just as dirty and full of crap, unsurprisingly.

"oh hey gyeomie," bambam said as he entered, "what's crackin bro?"

mark immediately looked uncomfortable, eyes meeting with yugyeom's as the boy emptily stared back at him. he tried to smile but his lips remained frozen in place.

he watched as yugyeom spun his hands around and as bambam smiled, moving his hands too. mark remained confused for a second before old memories twigged in his brain and he realised they were talking in ASL. it was how he had spoken to his brother when he was younger and too afraid to speak- they had both learned ASL to converse with each other.

he grinned, mouth suddenly able to move again, and waved at yugyeom.

yugyeom's brows furrowed, his hands freezing in the middle of a conversation with bambam.

' _i learned_ _ASL a while back, you and bambam are talking in ASL right?'_ he signed.

yugyeom and bambam shared similar expressions of shock as mark let his hands rest by his sides. mark was beginning to think they wouldn't reply to his signing attempt, when yugyeom's face lit up.

_really?!?! that's so amazing, i've only been able to talk to bambam for so long! how are you mark?_

"i'm assuming you can hear right?" mark chuckled and yugyeom nodded happily, "cool.. well i'm doing okay. still a bit confused on why no-one will leave me alone but yeah,"

yugyeom's smile grew wider and bambam couldn't help but smile too.

_it's because we're a family here. and it's always exciting to have a new face. especially when they can sign!!!_

yugyeom's hands flew in a flurry of excitement as it finally sunk in that he could talk to someone new.

"yeah, welcome to the family mark! i really hope we can help you settle in okay," bambam said.

"how come you two are so nice? park and jackson are so...."

_rude?_

"yeah. nothing against them, but they aren't exactly welcoming," mark said, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. he looked down at the floor anxiously, almost missing yugyeom's signing.

_they've been here for so long, since they were young teenagers. it's just a defence mechanism. ever since we met jackson he's been angry but jinyoung used to be like us, i guess. then jaebeom happened.._

his face darkened and his hands kept still for a minute before he continued.

_me and bam have only been here for a few years. i guess life at wingate hasn't gotten to us just yet._

bambam shook his head, smiling ironically, "oh it's definitely got to me,"

yugyeom sighed

_you know what? me too._

bambam shook himself, "but y'know what gyeomie? we got some work to do today, tuan here needs a new outfit, and we need to help him!"

_well i think that's a job for you bambam, and not me. but i can help._

yugyeom stood up and walked over to the chest in the corner of bambam's room. he pulled out a hoodie and jeans and bambam sighed, "that's so basic, seriously gyeomie?"

he too walked over to the chest, throwing the hoodie back in and pulling out a white t-shirt and denim jacket, "much better,"

bambam tossed the items over to mark, smiling, "there you go. now c'mon, this tour is long overdue,"

mark clenched the fabric to his chest, it smelled fresh, something he hadn't experienced in so long. bambam smiled slowly as he watched, "you can go to the bathroom if you want."

mark nodded, "i'll be back in sec.. thank you so much bambam,"

_we'll be waiting!_

bambam's bathroom was smaller and dirtier than his own and mark, whilst thankful to bambam for the clothes and kindness, couldn't help but feel disgusted.

but still, he quickly got changed and burst out the bathroom, at once greeted by applause from bambam and yugyeom.

"who knew there was handsome in you mark tuan?" bambam asked jokingly as yugyeom gestured for mark to spin around. he did, even if it was slow and unsure and yugyeom burst into silent laughter, mouth opening and closing without making a sound.

"let's go!" bambam cheered, "and then sadly for you, we have to meet park,"

mark sighed, "okay then. show me around bam"

"pet names already markie? who would've thought,"

mark punched his shoulder, "well maybe i like you a little bambam," his humour dropped, "i've never had a proper friend before..."

yugyeom smiled grimly.

_maybe me and bam can be your first friends then. i'm sure it'd be great- right bam?_

bambam nodded, "of course,"

"no it's okay," mark said quickly, "you don't have to do that for me... i... i'm okay with being alone,"

"absolutely not. no no no no no. we are not having you sad."

yugyeom nodded and walked over to mark, dragging him into quick hug before pulling apart to sign:

_you deserve a friend mark. and i'm not letting the only person besides bambam who can sign NOT be my friend._

mark couldn't help a smile from drifting onto his face, maybe it wouldn't be so bad at wingate. maybe there were more people like bambam and yugyeom and less like park and jackson.

"on with the tour?" he asked, trying to distract himself from the tears that he could feel gathering behind his eyes.

bambam nodded, "on with the tour!!!" 


	10. the grand tour

**THE TOUR LASTED FOR A FEW HOURS,** the trio wandering from building to building, bambam supplying useless facts as yugyeom as least tried to help explain how life at wingate worked.

they had seen the various apartments in both of the buildings that held them and bumped into a few of yugyeom and bambam's friends. (whilst remaining incredibly cautious to avoid everyone else), although, they were all much closer to bambam than the younger. there was a girl called irene that mark had quite liked, she was soft-spoken and mark thought at once that they would be good friends. he tended to gravitate towards quiet people like her. there were a few others he had liked, and he was beginning to think maybe he could have a life at wingate.

they had also made a quick stop at the wash room, mark finding out that using the machines was incredibly expensive, as was buying food from the canteen. although yugyeom quickly informed him that most people stole from the canteen and that no-one was ever there to tell them to stop.

however, life wasn't all perfect, as was to be expected.

from what mark heard, everyone who lived in the small estate had become a social outcast, or at least that's what yugyeom had told him.

bambam had even been useful, telling mark about how he had gone through fierce interviews for a job as a reporter before being stumped out at the last hurdle after the employer finally bothered to look at his address. since, he had never gotten a job and tried desperately to earn a living by busking on the streets. apparently it wasn't going very well.

still, aside from that depressing discussion in which mark realised life outside wingate would end up being just as hard as life within its gates, the tour had been fun. he had actually quite enjoyed getting to know bambam and yugyeom and it seemed like the pair felt the same.

however, the friendly air died quickly when they reached the gym.

it had started off innocently enough, bambam gesturing wildy at the room and yugyeom chuckling silently behind mark.

but then, a figure had approached them from behind a treadmill and at once a dark glare fell onto bambam's face.

the figure, a man who looked to be in his early twenties with slicked back hair and an eyebrow piercing, walked right up to bambam, muttering lowly, "what are you doing here? filthy scum,"

bambam shot daggers back at him, "fuck off jaebeom, i'm not here for your shit today,"

the man (jaebeom?) laughed, the faint chuckles fading behind his gritted teeth, "don't tell me to fuck off, bambam, unless you want a bloody nose and a knife in your stomach,"

"why are you even threatening me?" bambam asked angrily, "we agreed the gym was a safe place,"

jaebeom shrugged, drawing closer to bambam, so the boy could see the knife poking out from his pocket, "i'm in a bad mood. and i want to beat up one of jinyoungie's little henchpeople shit heads,"

"oh fuck off," bambam seethed, "you've got no fucking right im jaebeom,"

"don't care. now... should it be little baby bambam... or his tattle-tale?" he turned his gaze to yugyeom, who suddenly looked incredibly fearful, eyes darting around like he wanted to look at everything besides jaebeom.

"you been spreading any more shit lately kim?" jaebeom smirked, "oh wait... my bad- you can't,"

a small group of people had gathered around the fight and mark slowly melted into the crowd, trying his hardest to blend in and look as unnoticeable as possible.

but jaebeom's eyes were quick, and he picked up on mark's subtle movements, evil smile growing, "what's this?" he asked bambam, "fresh meat?"

"lay off you bastard," bambam replied, "it's only his third day."

"bout time he got a few scars then isn't it bam?"

mark suddenly found that he was glaring back at jaebeom, his features a whirlwind of anger. but this only caused jaebeom to laugh again, "a feisty one are you? that only makes it more fun for me~"

mark stuck his middle finger up and tried to walk away from the gym but a hand grabbed his wrist and threw him back next to bambam. yugyeom had since disappeared, mark had no idea where to and hadn't even seen him go.

"leave him alone," bambam said again, stepping closer to jaebeom, "you know what park will do to you if you don't."

"jinyoungie? he wouldn't dare hurt me, he's still in love with me," jaebeom shot back, his obvious calmness riling bambam up even more. mark was only grateful the heat was off of him for a moment.

"it doesn't have to be like this." bambam said, changing the subject as he knew what jaebeom had said was true.

"oh?" jaebeom asked, "how so?"

"we were friends once. we were friends 3 months ago. just cos you and park went to shit doesn't mean we have to start up this rivalry,"

"gone soft bammie?"

"don't call me that," came bambam's growl of a response.

jaebeom laughed once again, "you make a solid point, however, have you considered that maybe i enjoy hurting you all? you have to admit it makes life a little more exciting,"

"oh fuck off," bambam said again, "you know life was pretty fucking good before all this,"

the crowd was now beginning to disperse, disappointed by the lack of fighting and anger and mark silently thanked whoever was listening. he saw a gap in the crowd and sprinted through it, fear compelling his legs to run faster than it felt like they had ever ran before.

hearing jaebeom's angry shouts and a shrill scream from bambam, mark only ran faster, the corridors he had ambled through only minutes before with bambam and yugyeom flying past him.

mark sprinted and sprinted, not stopping until he reached the courtyard. once out in the fresh air and far enough away from jaebeom for the time being, he bent low onto his knees, trying to regain his breath and untangle the knots in his stomach. he had found the danger that jackson had talked about. well, bambam had brought it to him.

he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, suddenly overwhelmed by everything that had just happened. there was serious shit going on, serious shit that mark realised in a flash of panic and dread that he was now a part of.

jaebeom had seen him, threatened him and now mark was in danger. he could sense it hanging over him.

he wanted to leave. now more-so than ever. but he knew he had to stay. afterall, he had no-where else to go. mark was alone in a foreign country, with not a single person who knew or cared about him.

he only had a tiny amount of won left and he hadn't eaten a single solid meal since he had arrived, only eating the few american snacks he had brought in his backpack. his stomach wouldn't stop growling.

and now, he felt like his own life was being threatened, and the only person left to protect him was bambam- who was 18 and very underqualifed. he guessed he had park and jackson too, but he really didn't want to put his trust in them- he didn't like them.

lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice bambam running up behind him. well, he didn't notice until bambam's hand was in his and he was being pulled back towards their apartment block.

once again he found himself running, breath caught up in his chest. he turned to look at bambam, about to beg him for a break from the seemingly endless running when he noticed the blood pouring from his cheek.

"bambam!" mark exclaimed, forcing the boy to stop his incessant sprinting. he grabbed bambam's face and turned it to inspect the side. there, he saw a gash in line with bambam's cheekbone, deep and rough. definitely from a knife.

"what happened?" he asked quietly.

"it's fine," bambam shrugged him off, "jaebeom was in a worse mood than ever... i shouldn't have provoked him.. just, try to avoid him okay?"

"... bambam... it looks really bad,"

just as bambam was about to respond, someone turned down the corridor and mark threw his hands up, half expecting the person to be jaebeom.

however, when the man spoke, he at once dropped his hands back down, incredibly embarrassed.

"bambam. did i not say 9?"

it was park. and he looked angry.


	11. secrets untold

**BAMBAM CLUTCHED A** **TOWEL** to his cheek, a few tears frozen salty on his face. park was sat across from them, leaning against the desk in his own apartment. his arms were crossed and a glare was settled on his face, causing his eyebrows to knit and his mouth to bend down in an angry frown.

mark watched the two, careful to avoid eye contact with park who was bristling with rage. bambam too, kept his eyes down as he gently pressed the towel harder onto the cut, trying his hardest to stem the bloodflow.

"well." park said, standing up from the desk and walking over to bambam, "could you be any more stupid? fighting with jaebeom? what are you- 12?"

bambam glared up at park with watery eyes, "park please, i just got worked up,"

"you know you can't do that here." park seethed, "it's too dangerous bambam."

"please leave me alone, this cut fucking hurts," bambam turned away.

"i know you only got here half a year ago, but this is no excuse. you know my rules. you know my punishments. don't make me punish you bambam," park's voice had taken a darker tone that made mark shudder, he really despised the man. there was a low growling tone pushed into his stern voice as well, like his threat was very, very, real.

bambam's eyes had widened and he wrapped his arm around his stomach, like some form of paranoia had hit him. maybe, mark thought, park had punished bambam before, and that it had involved his stomach some how. he shivered and dropped his eyes from park.

"well?" park asked, advancing closer to bambam who cowered away, "...gonna say anything bambam?"

bambam just shook his head which seemed to satisfy park and mark almost sighed, letting out the tenseness he had been holding. he was more than a little worried that something would happen to bambam.

with a tiny bit of relief flooding through him, mark looked up to face park who re-crossed his arms and started to speak, "right mark. it's about time you got clued in to the deepest shit and how things are gonna work around here." 

"wha- what?" mark stuttered, "i didn't already know everything?... jaebeom isn't the deepest shit here?"

"regretfully no, there's a whole lot worse," bambam spoke up, though his voice wobbled a bit. mark almost started to question why bambam wasn't a little braver around park, seeing as he had been at wingate for half a year.

still, he dismissed it and looked to bambam, "how?! how can it be worse?"

"listen." park interrupted, "i'll give it to you straight."

"difficult for park, seeing as he's-" bambam started and ah, mark thought, that was where bambam's courage was.

"-gay? irrelevant bambam. and a little insulting." park interjected, stony face angrily glaring at bambam, " _as_ _i was saying.._. i'm going to give it to you straight. we can't get jobs. we can't fucking get money from anywhere. i could only come up with one solution so we could actually survive here. and i won't sugarcoat it, we sell drugs. and if you want to have enough money to buy food and shit, you're gonna need to start helping,"

mark stumbled backwards, back suddenly hitting the wall behind him. that was something he would never do: he could abandon his brother and father, live in a creepy estate with creepy people but he wouldn't sell drugs.

"no way." mark said, sudden bravery hitting him, "i'm not selling drugs park, no way,"

park just simply shook his head, "that's fine. i'll give you one week mark, that's how this will work. if you can find a good job that'll rake in some cash, you can stay outta the drugs."

"only one week?" mark asked and park started to smirk.

as he did so, mark paused to take a look around park's room. it was just as he had imagined it: dark and boring with very little in it at all really save for a bed, the desk the man was now rooting through and a laptop lying across the middle of the floor. for a brief second, mark thought he might have seen the metallic shine of a gun underneath the bed but quickly cast the thought away, preferring not to think about it.

mark turned to bambam with worried eyes and was about to try and mouth something to him when bambam held a finger up before signing out:

_just use sign language. park will spend ages finding all the papers and i see you have something to say._

mark nodded, nervous eyes flitting to park, making sure he wasn't looking. for some reason, he assumed the man would be angry if he saw he and bambam conversing. it was just a feeling he had, but it also seemed to make sense- he hadn't seen park in any other mood but angry since he had met him.

**bambam. what's going on? i can't sell drugs.**

bambam shrugged.

_it's not that bad. just something we have to do. let's not talk about it please, i don't like thinking about it._

**okay. sorry. is park always like this?**

_pretty much yeah. i haven't seen him smile in like 3 months and he always bosses us around. he's okay though, i have a soft spot for him and when you catch him by yourself, he's actually pretty decent. just get to know him._

**you're telling me to talk to him by myself? are you insane.**

_he won't murder you mark. literally the minute anyone joins the reds, he's insanely loyal to them. one of his few good qualities._

**how'd you end up here bambam?**

_swift topic change, nice one mark. and no, i won't tell you. that's personal_.

 **i'll** **tell you why i'm here**

_you'll hate me if i tell you. i'm not telling you._

mark was about to respond, his hands ready for a flurry of fast signs when park spun around on his heel. in his hand, was a huge stack of papers, bound together by a worn and rusty bulldog clip.

mark cocked his head, "papers? why are there papers?"

"for you to sign." park said simply, handing mark the wad of paper and a pen before turning back around to his desk drawers.

mark read the first sentence aloud, "i hereby declare that if i don't find a well paid, decent job within a week of the day this paper is signed, i agree to aid park jinyoung and further his business with him." he paused, "...your drug business?"

"yup." bambam replied for park, "now get on with signing so we can move on with life."

mark sighed, conflicted. in a way, he was glad for the opportunity to make some money, even if it was through selling drugs. he just really couldn't see himself doing it, and he really _really_ didn't want to. but bambam was looking impatient and park had turned back around and was looking at him expectantly.

and before he knew what he was doing, he had brought the pen to the paper and was signing his name.

"there are a few other things to fill out." park said, "but do it in your own time, you're both dismissed."

"yes!" bambam cheered, throwing the towel from his cheek to reveal the nasty swollen cut underneath. thankfully, it had stopped bleeding, "freedom!!" he shouted once again, grabbing mark's arm to pull him from the room.

mark found that bambam had a habit of dragging him from place to place.

still, he allowed the younger to take him out into the hallway and towards where he thought he remembered the room with the small pool table was.

however, as they were walking through the hallways, the lights from the windows slowly darkening, they bumped into jackson.

fear at once jumped through mark, jackson had the same glower about him, like at any minute he would pounce on mark.

"hey jackson!" bambam squealed, running into jackson's arms and hugging him tightly, "i haven't seen you properly in forever! where are we going tonight?"

"get off me bambam," jackson grumbled, though mark couldn't help but notice the small smile flicking across jackson's lips, "and we're going to the bar."

bambam giggled, not untangling himself from jackson as the older had requested. he turned to face mark, "you coming mark?"

"sure." he said without much hesitation. he took a moment to look over at bambam and jackson who hadn't pulled out of their hug yet, even if jackson looked like he was trying to escape, he asked, "are you two... dating?"

bambam roared with laughter as he jumped from jackson's arms. jackson chuckled a little too, "nope. i'm very very straight. we're just good friends."

bambam nodded, tears of laughter in his eyes, "you really... thought we were... dating?" he asked out between chuckles, "that's hilarious."

mark smiled slightly at bambam, not finding the situation nearly as funny as he did and turned to jackson. by now, jackson had lightened up, his eyes were brighter and there was even a smile resting gently on his features, "are you.. smiling?" mark asked nervously.

jackson winked at him, "guess i just like bambam huh?"

bambam chuckled, "around the right people, this kid is okay. he gets pissed off a lot, but y'know we love him anyway,"

jackson threw his arms out wide, "jackson wang: live and in person!"

"and if you're wondering.." bambam laughed, "it's definitely not the same deal with park. he is just straight up angry."

jackson nodded before clapping his hands together and beginning to walk down the corridor, "to the bar, i need some alcohol," he called as bambam and then mark hurried after him.

mark had no idea what he had signed himself up for. but it was about to get messy.


	12. origins

**THEY HAD ARRIVED AT THE** **BAR** after a long walk, having to travel back through the winding passages mark had walked through on his first dark night at wingate. in the flickering sunlight, they seemed more sinister- like at any minute the sun would disappear leaving them trapped in a maze of cobblestones and brick walls.

however, bambam and jackson's light hearted banter quickly released some of mark's unwanted tension and he watched with an almost-happy smile on his face as the pair strolled next to each other, jackson a little more uncomfortable than bambam. he found it amusing that they weren't actually dating, they looked quite cute together.

they had tried their best to include mark in the conversation but whenever they did he would barely reply with even one full sentence. he was unsure of what to say to them, they (more bambam than jackson) had warmed up to him so quickly but he was uncomfortable. in what world did people become friends in practically less than a week?

although he would come to find them good company as the night progressed, at first the conversation was stilted and mark felt awkward.

after what felt like hours of walking through the darkening alleyways, the trio burst into the open streets.

"wooo!" bambam cheered, "i haven't left wingate for so long! feels goooood!"

jackson smiled softly, agreeing, "it's nice to escape that place sometimes,"

that came as a surprise to mark, that they rarely made the journey through the alleys. he had hoped to come to the inner city of seoul whenever he could, visit gangnam, see all the typical tourist attractions. in this surprise, he turned to jackson, startled that it was jackson he looked for and not bambam, "you don't come out often?" he asked.

jackson shook his head, eyes cast down, "rarely. and normally it's only at night to do some shady shit. park doesn't like us going out,"

bambam nodded, "we try to sneak out whenever we can, me and jacks aim to have little celebration at a bar or something once a month. but most of the time, it doesn't really happen. too hard y'know."

jackson grabbed bambam's hand as he began to see the younger's eyes welling up. mark immediately regretted asking the question and looked to jackson with curious eyes.

"he's only been here 6 months." jackson said by way of explanation and somehow, mark understood what he meant.

he nodded and looked out at the empty street, immediately picking out the glaring neon sign for the estate agents he had visited. he laughed quietly to himself although he was unsure why, he found it weird to see the strange place again.

jackson smirked, unwrapping his arm from bambam's shoulder where he had been hugging the boy and walking over to where mark stood. bambam swifty followed.

"i remember that place." jackson said, his voice light and airy, something mark hadn't expected from him, "i was 13. fucking 13."

bambam squeezed his shoulder gently, "i remember too," he whispered, "half a year ago,"

"you were 13?" mark asked, shocked, "only 13?"

"yep." jackson replied, staring out to the tiny shop, "basically a kid. i walked in there with no money and the man working said he'd give me a place for free. wingate wasn't as nice back then so it was cheap, as in, there was no water, no kitchen- fucking nothing."

he paused to sigh, jaw tightening, "i walked in there and there were just people everywhere, fighting, arguing. it was a shithole of the worst criminals in korea,"

"still is," bambam laughed, "we're there."

jackson forced a tiny laugh out in response, "you're not a criminal bam. you've got a fucking good heart,"

"but yugye-"

"that wasn't your fault and you know it,"

"what happened next?" mark asked, breaking the moment. jackson motioned for them to continue walking along the street as he continued. there were no people there, it was eerie. but somehow, mark liked it, it looked like a place where secrets would be told and shared. it felt almost magical.

he stared up at the stars as jackson carried on, "i was in danger all the time. constant fear. people were suspicious, people were evil. then i met park. called him jinyoung then though."

bambam spoke quietly, "jinyoung was sweet and kind and funny when i met him. not like now.... never like now," 

jackson nodded, "he was like that back then too. when he first saw me he walked up and pulled me into a hug. i thought he was gonna hurt me," he laughed quietly, "but he didn't. he told me he had seen me around and then he brought me back to his place,"

bambam shook his head, "and you understood that? when jinyoung first spoke to me i had no idea what he was saying. i only spoke thai!"

"you're thai?" mark suddenly spoke up, interrupting jackson and bambam, "i knew you looked foreign!"

"and i'm from hong kong," jackson pointed to himself, "it's funny how much i miss the place."

"where are you from mark? your korean kinda sucks..." bambam asked and mark punched him jokingly on the shoulder causing bambam to groan a bit in false pain.

"i'm from america." mark said simply, shrugging.

by now, they had made it further into the city and more and more people were starting to join them on the no longer quiet streets. more shops littered the roads and cars popped up along past them, blaring headlights illuminating their faces in the dark.

"i've always wanted to go to america..." jackson said, "too bad i'm stuck in korea. probably never gonna leave, which is just great,"

it was bambam's turn to punch someone, slamming his first lightly into jackson's arm, "don't wallow, you wallower,"

"what if i want to wallow? i would very much like to."

"well tough luck cos we're here now," bambam said, pointing to a tiny shop a little further up the street.

"not yet." jackson argued, "i've still got some wallowing time,"

mark laughed slightly at jackson and jackson smiled back, "it's good to hear you laugh mark." 

"be honoured," mark replied, "it doesn't happen often."

"well we're here to change that!" bambam said, "mr lee's bar will forever change your life!'

and with that, the trio were outside the building. bambam walked in first, pushing the door open and ushering the other two inside....


	13. last call

the bar was crowded and mark's head was spinning, he swore he had never drunk so much alcohol in his life before going to the bar with jackson and bambam. his mind was racing, a thousand thoughts a minute and every single movement the others made beside him was heightened like the whole world was exaggerated.

bambam was screaming something that mark could only vaguely hear, "...so that's when i had to pull the cucumber out of his ass..." or something along those lines, mark could hardly pay attention, everything was so blurry.

"bambam shh," he heard jackson whisper, after bambam had finished the cucumber story and was moving onto something else, "tuan is wasted,"

mark choked down a gag as he slurred, "am notttt," leaning his head on jackson's shoulder and grinning, trying to ignore the headache that was making its way slowly to the front of his forehead.

jackson pushed him off, "you so are! you really can't handle your liqueur huh?"

"can too!" mark whined as he took yet another shot, grimacing as the liquid almost seared the back of his throat, "see!" he exclaimed even though he was coughing from the strong alcohol. jackson just rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around bambam's shoulders.

bambam giggled, he _really_ couldn't stomach alcohol and as far as mark knew from his washed up state, the thai had already thrown up in the bathroom twice.

jackson watched as bambam's laugh escalated. with a quick roll of his eyes, he muttered, "i'm friends with a bunch of fucking lightweights, what has my life come to?" 

mark was too drunk to address this and quite frankly, he didn't care all too much so he just lay back in his chair and allowed the alcohol to overcome him, the sound of bambam's laughter continuing long into the night.

after a while, the bar started to empty out and just as the trio were starting to make their move, (with bambam desperately chugging down the last of his alcohol), jackson's phone started to ring. mark almost laughed out loud when the ring tone was twice's "fancy,"

surprisingly sober and cheeks red from mark obviously being amused by his ringtone, jackson picked the phone up and sighed the minute the person on the other line began to speak.

"bambam pass me a pen from that neverending bag of yours," he said, resting the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he made grabby hands at bambam for the pen.

bambam let out a tiny hiccup as he dug into his bag to try and retrieve a working pen. but after a while he found one and swiftly handed it to jackson before turning back to the drink in front of him.

as the call continued, jackson hurriedly scribbled notes onto a napkin using bambam's pen. he looked stern and serious and mark started to feel himself sober up. the mood had darkened, he could sense jackson's easy-going nature swiftly trickling away with each curve of his pen.

he also noticed something odd. every so often, jackson would say something like, "okay yugyeom," or "thanks gyeom,"

it was confusing because yugyeom couldn't speak. so the minute jackson put down the phone, mark spoke up, "was that yugyeom? how was he talking to you?"

jackson smiled slightly, though not for long. he was original jackson once again, the mysterious, rude one that mark had first met, "we have our methods. and anyway, it isn't your business."

"wha-" mark was about to interrupt with some indignant reply of how he deserved to know the truth when bambam spoke up.

he, unlike mark, hadn't cleared the alcohol from his mind at all and was sat with his head lolling to the side and messy blonde hair warped into his eyes.

"- it's my fault," he said, and mark watched as tears gathered in his eyes. bambam stood up and shuffled up from under the bar table, stumbling as he did so and swiftly tumbling to the floor.

"what do you mean?" mark asked, running to bambam's side, as quickly as he could considering the significant stagger he had in his steps due to the alcohol. he crouched next to bambam as he wept, "what's your fault?"

"be quiet bamb-" jackson started but before bambam could even acknowledge what the older had said, he was wailing into mark's sleeve, "it's all my fault that yugyeom has to speak with morse code... IT'S MY FAULT HE DOESN'T HAVE A TONGUE,"

the tears fell fast from his face as his body curved in on itself. he shook and shook as he continued to cry. mark had no words, he just looked to jackson with a baffled expression.

jackson shook his head, "i told him to forget this." he grumbled, "i told him to leave it be."

bambam continued sobbing as mark glared at jackson, "what the fuck." he said, "are you not gonna help him?"

"this happens at least once a week, he feels bad. but we have to go," jackson said, grabbing his backpack and storming over to the bar door. by now more than a few people were looking at bambam crying on the floor however most were simply too drunk to care.

"we have to go now mark." jackson said, sterner this time, "park's in trouble."


	14. pool of blood

the night had grown darker, blackness seeping into the world. pavement now bare of any people, jackson walked out of the bar, stormy eyes flicking around anxiously.

mark, regretfully, had followed behind him- not like he had much choice in the matter. jackson had glared at him until he had picked bambam off the floor and started to make his way towards the exit.

he didn't want to come. he didn't care if park was in trouble. hell, he'd probably celebrate if the man died as cruel as it sounded. but when jackson had heard from yugyeom that park was in trouble, he had flared up immediately and he wouldn't let mark stay at the bar. mark was essentially forced to come.

mark had no idea where they were going and bambam was heavy in his arms. the air was cold and his jacket was thin and he kind of wanted to go home and cry.

but jackson was running ahead of him and he had no choice but to match his pace, not even being able to stop when he noticed bambam's cut was bleeding again.

he felt bad for the boy who was limping next to mark, each step illicting a grunt of pain. jackson didn't notice, just continued running on ahead.

"wha-" bambam groaned as he stumbled on a cobblestone, "what's happening-"

mark sighed beside him, though he hardly had the energy to push the breath out, "i... i don't know .. park's in.. trouble." he could hardly speak the words, he was so exhausted.

"he's always in trouble."

"i can imagine."

back into the dark alleys they ran, so dark that mark couldn't even see jackson in front of him anymore. bambam was lagging beside him, and as they continued he could feel the consciousness leaving his new friend.

what had he gotten himself into? the thought always found a way of drifting into his head.

"it's probably jaebeom" bambam said, though his voice was weak and faded. he brought a hand up to his face and felt the cold blood trickling down it.

bambam looked to mark with wide, questioning eyes, the blood now dripping on his palm. mark shrugged, what else was he meant to do? he was too focused on dragging bambam at a fast enough pace.

just as they were sprinting back into wingate, bambam collapsed on the floor. he was still awake, but barely, and mark at once dropped to his knees to be beside him.

"bambam?" he asked, urgency laced in his voice, "are you okay? what's going on?" 

"i'm o-okay.. just.. i'm just.. just drunk," 

jackson's pounding footsteps had ceased and mark could hear the distant sound of shouting. the whole world had a hazy aura of fear, like just around the corner something awful was happening. 

mark shivered as he replied, "i don't believe you, bambam," 

"there's.. some..thing.. there's something but-" bambam coughed, "but i can't... i haven't told any... anyone," 

"bambam... i know we've only just met and i have no right pushing this but you're not okay- tell me what's wrong and i can help," mark said, more angrily than he had intended.

but bambam simply shrugged him away, though mark could sense another coughing fit approaching, "mark, jackson'll need help. i've dealt with this by myself before but you need to go help him," 

"no. bambam, you look like you're dying," 

mark was about to go on when the sound of jackson shouting filled the air, both he and bambam froze, bambam's face contorting in fear.

"go mark!" bambam choked out as jackson shouted once again, "hurry up!"

mark felt he had no choice but to go and so, guiltily, he left bambam lying on the floor and stumbled over to where the shouts where coming from. 

nothing could prepare him for what he saw, he never thought he would see something like it ever in his life.

jaebeom, the man he had seen in the gym, holding a gun to jackson's forehead. 

and when he looked down, almost next to his feet, he saw park unconscious in a pool of his own blood.


	15. rescue

park's face, whilst flaccid and weak was stuck in a look of pain. mark quickly figured out why when his eyes scanned down to the stab wound in the man's side. blood was pouring out quickly and steadily and mark suddenly found that his hands were shaking.

"oh god..." he whispered to himself as he knelt beside park, "oh god oh god.. what do i do?!"

he looked back to jaebeom and jackson, who still had the gun to his forehead and shivered. but only for a split second, for some reason he felt like park was his main priority.

"park?" he muttered as he frantically shook park's shoulders, "park, wake up!"

a glimmer of life flashed through park as mark continued tugging on his shoulders, now in a desperate state of panic.

"shit. park, get up! you're okay, c'mon get up, you can do it. oh god, park wake-"

he was met by a warm hand covering his mouth and a weak whisper of, "shut up or he'll hear you."

mark reeled back, surprised by park's sudden move.

"park?" he asked, muffled by the hand still on his mouth. he pushed it away and lowered his voice, "what happened?"

"shut up!" park said, angrier than before but still remaining deadly quiet, "get up. slowly. and then take me to my apartment. i can't move."

"but jackso-"

"we can't help. if jaebeom's got him, it's up to fate."

"okay but bamb-"

"mark i'm bleeding out," park seethed, "take me to my apartment."

mark jumped at park's sudden anger, "dude, i wanna help you, but jackson's gonna get shot. someone is literally holding a gun to his face."

before park could reply, (mark at once being able to tell he was pissed from the way his brows furrowed) blood began to rise up the back of his throat. he began to cough, the loud sound filling the night as he pushed the blood out and onto the concrete.

he gripped his stomach in agony and mark stumbled backwards from where he had been balancing in a crouched position on the balls of his feet. mark hit the ground with a thud as park continued coughing up thin strings of blood.

the next thing mark knew, or rather heard, was that jackson was still okay for the man had started screaming. he wasn't dead, and although mark couldn't see, he had pulled away from jaebeom and managed to kick the gun off into the night.

"was that jinyoung coughing? WHERE IS HE?" jackson screamed and park coughed harder.

"WHERE'S JINYOUNG, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?"

mark heard jaebeom laugh as park began to whimper, "he's gone jackson," jaebeom said, his voice thick with malice, "i've finally got rid of him. he won't last long,"

a brief scuffle occured. it sounded to mark as though jackson had tried to run in the direction of jinyoung's loud coughing but jaebeom had somehow restrained him. jackson called out in anger, his scream flooding into mark's ears.

he screamed for a long time before starting to sob, "why.. why would you do this?"

mark saw that park too, was starting to cry, obviously he had been listening to the conversation over the noise of his retches.

"jackson.." the bleeding boy whispered, "...what have you done..."

tears filled mark's eyes though he wasn't sure why. perhaps it was the way park spoke the words gently, something he hadn't imagined he would ever hear. the seemingly 'emotionless' man in front of him, was sobbing into the blood soaked concrete. he placed a hand on park's back, about to say something when the conversation between jackson and jaebeom continued.

jaebeom, a smirk evident in his voice, said, "why did i do this? one simple reason jacks... it's fun,"

"FUN?" jackson roared, "HURTING US? HURTING YOUR FRIENDS? THAT'S FUN?"

"what can i say?" jaebeom replied, "call me a psychopath if you want,"

"fuck you. fuck you right to hell im jaebeom,"

"fuck you too jackson. for messing with my plans. this whole thing could've been clean and easy. i could've disposed of park and been on my way, but now i have to dispose of you too,"

another scream from jackson echoed around the courtyard.

mark sat on the floor by park, listening to everything. by now, park's eyes had glazed over and mark was panicking. why hadn't he taken park away when the man had asked?

jaebeom and jackson had gone quiet and he shivered at the thought. what was going on now the conversation had died? still, it was the perfect opportunity to sneak park away.

so he wrapped his skinny arms around park's shaking body and started to lift him, arms at once struggling with the weight.

he heaved himself into a standing position, park's body flung over his shoulder and started to walk through the dark. the first steps were shaky as he adjusted himself with park's additional body weight. his eyes never once left the place where jackson and jaebeom had stood, paranoia filling him, and he slowly began to walk home.

it was going to be a long walk.

with absolutely no idea where he was going, mark was surprised to see that he managed to reach his apartment rather quickly.

before he could enter his apartment (and he.. so.. wanted to enter his apartment), a young woman ran up to him. she looked to be about his age, with straight dark hair and tightly pursed lips.

mark was surprised to see tears sliding down her face, "is that park?" she asked, as she stopped in front of mark, "i heard what happened outside in the courtyard- is he okay?"

"i don't know- but who are you?" mark replied, eyelids drooping as tiredness continued wearing him down.

"yongsun." she said, "my name is yongsun,"

"so yo- yon..." mark struggled with the pronunciation of the woman's name.

she chuckled slightly, though due to the situation the laugh was cold and empty, "you can just call me solar if you want... i'm an old friend of jinyoung's, i'm in his gang,"

"the.. reds right?"

"yeah." solar smiled tightly, "do you.. need a hand? what happened?"

"well... i don't really know," mark's face became flushed, "i just- just found him lying on the floor and then he.. fell asleep and bambam is probably dying somewhere and oh god, jaebeom has jackson and i just really have no idea what's going on and i'm freaking out. what is this place and why the fuck is all this happening to me- i didn't ask to get involved but suddenly here i am and none of this makes sense and everyone is creepy and i-"

"look. just take him inside," she interrupted, glancing at her phone which had lit up from a message, "i have to go, but here's an emergency first aid kit. park's survived worse than this, he'll be okay."

she waved after handing mark a small red pouch bag, "bye, try not to freak out- okay?"

he nodded and pushed open the door to his apartment, lying park down on the thin mattress.

"what do i do?" he whispered to himself, "how do i save this bastard?"

he rushed to the bathroom, grabbing the old towel that was hanging on the hook and dousing it in cold water. he made his way back to park and pressed the wet towel onto park's side, where it looked like he had been stabbed.

mark ran a hand through his hair as he pushed the towel down with the other, he couldn't help a few tears from dripping down his face.

"what am i doing..." he murmered, "jackson's out there in danger and i'm not helping him... this is so insanely fucked up,"

he paused for a moment, lifting away from park, "why _am_ i doing this, i owe nothing to this dickhead. all he's done is fucking shout at me.... i should go get bambam... oh god, what if he's dead already?"

just as he was starting to stand up, he heard a voice from below him, "stay right where you are mark fucking tuan."

park was awake.


	16. maybe he's nice

park sat up onto his elbows and turned to glare at mark, his face the epitome of anger.. yet somehow pain.

he clutched his side as he said, "what's going on tuan?"

mark rolled his eyes, ever the sarcastic bitch, "i dunno.. you tell me. how come jackson is getting shot outside? what the fuck park?!"

park didn't say anything and mark suddenly became aware of the wind clattering through the cracked window in the top corner of the room. it whistled around them and park shivered. he suddenly looked... almost vulnerable.

"it's hard to explain," he said, "and it's a long ass story,"

"i've got time."

mark glowered down at park, surprised by his own calmness. when park was lying on the floor, blood covered hands gripping his side in agony, he didn't seem as scary.

but he did look to be in a lot of pain, mark could only imagine.

"are you oka-" he tried to ask, only wanting to help, before park cut him off with a simple raise of his hand.

"i'm fine. do you wanna know the story or what?"

"tell me."

_i was 14 when my parents ditched me at an art museum. just ran away whilst i was staring at a_ _monet_ _like an idiot._

_i didn't have any other family, my parents had cut off from them all years before and being a smart kid, i knew that i'd just end up in a foster home until i was 18_ _if i went to the police._

_i didn't particularly want to go home either, and we were on a holiday to seoul from_ _jinhae_ _.. i couldn't exactly just waltz right back home._

_so i just went to an estate agents. it was dumb, i was stupid. but i had wanted to run away for a long time, my parents weren't the nicest and my dad seemed to get a kick out of beating me._

_and so there i was, right in the middle of the courtyard with_ _jack-shit_ _and very quickly realised that i was not safe._

_before we made the gangs, this place was a_ _shithole_ _of crime, literally there were stabbings everywhere. you couldn't even walk down a corridor without some guy trying to jump you._

_and i was fucking 14._

_i just lived in my apartment and sprinted out when i had to go find food from somewhere. that's all i can really remember. it was so long ago now._

_then, of course, jackson showed up. and that kid was scared out of his mind. so i helped him out, showed him the hidden passageways i had found and the places where the burly 36 year olds couldn't find you._

_we lived like that for a while, me and jackson, learning to live with each other when pretty_ _soon, people were moving out. like crazy. they heard the cops were coming to bust anyone who lived at wingate so they all upped and left. each one of them probably had about 7 counts of murder_ _and couldn't risk the arrest._

_but the cops never showed. and we were left with an estate full of stupid teens like me and jackson._

_we slowly built wingate back up again, and it was going better. no creepy dudes were moving in anymore. just the rejects. the losers._

_if you live at wingate, you are the lowest of the low_.

_but things got bad again. these idiotic kids were running around making a mess. suddenly there were stabbings in the streets and corridors._

_bambam and yugyeom moved in._   
_jaebeom moved in._

_i fell in love with jaebeom, and we started dating. but things at wingate only got worse, i was scared everyday that i would lose jaebeom to someone. that one day i'd wake up and he wouldn't be there to smile at me anymore._

_so 6 months ago we had to change something. wingate was descending back into the hell it once was._

_so me and_ _sungjin_ _and jaebeom and chan.. we made the gangs. we spray painted the doors of each apartment to allocate who goes to which gang._

_it was fair._   
_people were chill._   
_for a while._

_but jaebeom let things get to his head. he had power, over all the blues, and over me. he broke up with me, naturally and managed to pit the four gangs against each other._

_they were made to keep peace, but they only tore us apart. once again, we had to sleep with one eye open, only now it was jaebeom who scared me the most: not some murderous bald guy._

_he went insane. power hungry. delusional._

_if he's not a sociopath, i'll be surprised. he sees us as the enemy, someone he has to defeat so that he can control the whole of wingate._

_a modern day macbeth._

_i've been trying to stand up against him, but it hurts. when i look at him, all i see is the boyfriend i lost not the villain i'm meant to defeat._

_but now he knows i'm getting my thoughts back, he knows he's losing his power over me. and judging by this knife wound, i'm guessing he tried to stop me._

_and jackson, the idiot that he is, got in the way. and jaebeom loves a good hunt. he won't have killed jackson. jackson is bait._

_and when i find him, it's over for me._

_and the stupid thing is: i still love him._   
_everytime i look into his eyes, i fall a little further._

_i don't think i can stand up to him, mark, i'm so in love._

park was sobbing into mark's mattress, clutching it with his bloody fingers.

he looked at mark, who was crouched beside him, tears in his eyes, "i'm sorry mark. things are stressful right now and ever since jaebeom my mind has been all over the place. you probably hate me... can we start again?"

mark looked at park, how his eyes were gentle now, how his fingers shook, and said, "sure. nice to meet you, i'm mark tuan,"

park laughed, though pain ebbed through it, like any minute the laugh would crack into sobs, "i'm jinyoung,"

"jinyoung huh? not park?" mark asked and park's eyes hardened.

"it's useless trying to be angry. don't get me wrong, i'm so fucking angry about... everything. but there's something about you that makes me wanna not be park anymore. i want to be jinyoung again," park tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. mark looked down at him, confused.

"something about me?"

"yes. just shut up and use that first aid kit to stop me from bleeding,"


	17. jinyoung

the sheets were bloody when jinyoung woke up, he felt them squelch beneath him as he shifted in the bed. he had been awoken by a harsh knocking on the door, heavy pounds every few seconds.

but he couldn't bare to get out of bed with the pain rippling from the hole in his side.

the person at the door was persistent, ruining his plan to stay in bed all day. annoyed at the disturbance, he pulled himself from the bed and winced his way over to the door.

when he dragged it open to reveal im nayeon, he wanted to punch her right in the face.

"the fuck are you doing here nayeon?" he growled, forced to lean against the doorframe due to his throbbing side.

she rolled her eyes, "nice welcome, thanks park,"

"whatever. what do you want?"

"i'm here to help, but if you're just gonna be rude i think i'll be on my way," she pursed her lips and stuck her hip out, waiting for jinyoung to say something. he didn't, just folded his arms and stared her down with those eyes. the eyes that had struck fear into mark, that left every single person paralysed and lesser than jinyoung.

nayeon rolled her eyes yet again and started to walk away, tall heels clicking on the cheap linoleum of the hallway. she shrugged, "your loss,"

jinyoung sighed, pissed off, "nayeon wait."

she spun back around, a smirk on her glossy red lips that made jinyoung want to slam the door in her face. but if she was a blue (jaebeom's gang) and willing to help jinyoung out, it must've been serious.

"just tell me what you know."

smiling, nayeon pulled her lips close to jinyoung's ear, "i know where jackson is..."

"and why tell me? jaebeom will go bat shit crazy if he finds out you snitched,"

jinyoung could help but think about yugyeom.... about what had happened when he had snitched.... how jaebeom had-

he didn't like to think about it.

"let's just say mr im hasn't been nice to me recently, and i would love to screw him over,"

"how can i trust you?"

"ya can't. but are you willing to risk it?"

jinyoung wasn't stupid, he knew how his ex-boyfriend played. nayeon was obviously a trap to get jinyoung to where jaebeom was.

so he thought he'd play a little game too.

"where is he?"

"the abandoned warehouse between first and fifth. that's where jackson is. the little blonde one with the funny name too," she dragged the words from her mouth as though she was savouring them, letting them hang in the air for as long as possible.

"bambam?" he asked.

"yeah that one. anyways, that's all i know,"

jinyoung wasted no time saying, "thanks," and slamming the door in her face.

leaning against the door, he gripped his side in agony as slow tears dripped from his eyes. each time he took a breath in, pain shot up through him. it left him breathless and crippled.

he just wanted to fall to the floor and never get up.

but he had to gather a team, so he could get jackson and bambam and not get himself killed in the process.

he took a few minutes to relax his muscles and let the pain wash out from his knife wound. and as he did so, a thought crossed his mind. he hated it the minute it sprung to his head.

_why would jaebeom stab me? does he not love me anymore?_

"of course he doesn't fucking love you," he whispered to himself, "no-one does. he broke up with you because you're unloveable. just stop fucking thinking about jaebeom."

he threw his head in his hands as the horrible thoughts continued, "LEAVE ME ALONE,"

his voice wobbled, "just leave me alone..." it cracked and split, "stop.. stop thinking about jaebeom. stop it,"

his hands shook, ".. he doesn't care anymore. just... just move on jinyoung. move on,"

but he couldn't move on. thinking about the stab wound just made it hurt more. the man he was in love with, the man who had cupped his face and whispered, "i'll never leave you jinyoung, as long as i live," had stabbed him.

the man he loved had turned the whole of wingate into a den of crime and violence, the man he loved had captured his best friends as bait.

but most importantly, the man he loved had ruined his life, turned him into a husk of a person. he was angry all the time, and he forgot what it was like to love and laugh and... be happy.

he screamed.   
he hung onto his side as pain seared through it again.  
and he thought of jaebeom.

and it was only 8am.

___

jinyoung's first instinct was to go to mark. he didn't know why, the boy had arrived only a week ago, he was practically useless. but for some reason, he wanted the boy next to him. and anyway, his only other option was yugyeom and nothing against him but he wasn't exactly good company seeing as he couldn't speak.

so without much thought, he wandered over to mark's apartment. the boy was such a late sleeper, there was no doubt he would still be there. 

he pounded on the door, fist soaked in blood from his still open wound, mark had done an awful job.

the door swung open to reveal said boy, hair tousled up, wearing the same clothes that jinyoung had last seen him in. 

he wanted to joke about it, the old jinyoung would've, but when he tried to force the joke from his lips, it wouldn't come out.

he was used to the feeling. it had happened every day since he and jaebeom had broken up.

mark cocked his head, "what's up jinyoung? any reason why you're here?" 

jinyoung could hear the fear from within mark's breezy voice and sighed. of course mark was scared of him. 

"i know where jackson is." he said, voice rougher than he intended.

"and you want me to do what? get him for you?" mark's eyes flicked down to the bloodstain on jinyoung's shirt, "because you can't go, with that amount of blood?"

"i'm getting jackson and bambam back myself okay? you coming or not?" 

again, he sounded harsher than he wanted to. he wished more than anything that he could be his old self again: lead in a way where people _wanted_ to be lead by him, rather than live in fear of him.

but that felt impossible now.

"they have bambam?" mark asked desperately, almost gripping onto jinyoung's arm, "how'd they get him?"

"i don't know. look are you coming?" 

"no," mark said though he looked unsure, "i told you i wasn't getting involved with this kind of thing." 

"it's been a week and you haven't found a job- you need to come." 

"i said no. i'm not going anywhere near jaebeom, no way. just give me a break, i practically saved your life last night and that was stressful enough, you almost bled out- do you know that? and then you told me i was banned from going to find jackson or bambam. maybe if i had gone we wouldn't be in this position now!" he paused as he looked at jinyoung with wide eyes, "don't get me wrong- you scare me out of my mind. but i've only been here 7 days, park. please just let me off this once,"

jinyoung didn't know what to say, everything mark had said had hit way too close to home. 

he hated that mark was scared of him.  
he hated that mark called him park.  
he hated that no matter what he did, he always seemed to fuck things up.

and for some reason, he was really upset that mark wouldn't be there with him. it was a weird feeling, he didn't recognize it.

"it's jinyoung, i thought we cleared that up last night?" he said with his usual stony voice.

"sorry..." 

"and it's fine, i'll just go with yugyeom. have a good morning." 

"thanks..." 

even if mark wasn't coming, jinyoung had to go find jackson and bambam, before jaebeom did something awful to them out of boredom.

he was running on very limited time.


	18. insistent

after jinyoung's visit, mark had expected to remain undisturbed for the rest of the day. he assumed that everyone would be rushing over to wherever bambam and jackson were, desperate to help them and that he'd finally have some peace and quiet.

and it wasn't that _he_ wasn't desperate to help them, he just really _really_ needed a break from everything. he wanted to go out somewhere and have a proper meal and maybe find a job too. what he didn't want was to go anywhere near im jaebeom.

but as he lay in his bed, contemplating what he would do on what felt like his last chance at a day off, he yet again heard a pounding at his door. the knocks were incessant, the person behind obviously insanely desperate to get mark's attention.

with a deep groan, mark crawled off the mattress for the second time that day and peeled open the door to reveal yugyeom.

the boy's eyes were stained with tears.

the minute the door opened, yugyeom collapsed into mark's arms, sobbing into his shoulder. mark staggered back, weak arms barely able to support yugyeom's tall lanky frame.

he stumbled away from the door, feet finding the mattress spread out on the floor.

gently, he pried yugyeom's head from the crook of his neck and led the boy to the mattress, sitting him down carefully.

"what's wrong yugyeom?" he asked, his words light and comforting though inside he was kind of freaking out.

yugyeom sniffled, wiping the tears away from under his eyes before starting to sign.

_bambam. they have bambam._

mark's heart bled for yugyeom, watching him try his hardest to hold back wails as his red rimmed eyes lost their shine. he looked dull and hopeless. and mark was awful at cheering people up...

"hey.. hey it'll be okay.. park's got it all under control yeah?"

yugyeom shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest.

_what if they do something to him?_

"they won't. jaebeom isn't that bad, you guys were friends once right?"

yugyeom's hands shook as he replied leaving mark barely understand what he was trying to say, even though the american had grown accustomed to his brother's awful attempts at the language.

_he did something awful to me._

mark's response was that of fear, pure cowardice filling him, "wha.. what did he do to you..?"

yugyeom didn't have to do much for mark to understand. he just pointed to his mouth with shaking fingers and that was enough for it all to make sense

jaebeom was the reason yugyeom didn't have a tongue.

"y-your tongue?" mark stuttered, hands unconsciously flying to his own tongue.

yugyeom nodded.

_4_ _months ago, he cut my tongue out. but i don't like getting into it mark... it's horrible. and now i'm just worried they'll do the same to bambam..._

as yugyeom signed, mark's eyes flicked up to the door- someone was knocking, yet again.

before answering, he pulled yugyeom into a quick hug, "he'll be okay gyeom, i believe in park,"

as mark got up to rush over to the door, yugyeom signed back.

_oh? you trust park now? what happened?_

"i don't know it just sort of-" he pulled the door open, park anxiously stood behind it, "ah! speak of the devil,"

park frowned, ignoring mark and stepping into the tiny room, "i've been looking for you everywhere yugyeom. come on, we're getting bambam and jackson,"

knowing park wouldn't understand sign language, yugyeom just shook his head and shrugged.

"you're coming, whether you like it or not,"

yugyeom shook his head again and mark took a fearful step back when he saw the anger slowly bubble inside park. when it reached his eyes, mark tapped yugyeom on the shoulder and gestured for him to leave. but yugyeom just shook his head again and signed: _i'm not going mark._

"yugyeom. get here right now, we're leaving," park said, his voice dripping in malice, "i did a good thing welcoming you into my gang. don't make me send you back to jaebeom."

mark's eyes widened, "yugyeom was with jaebeom?"

"shut up mark." park snapped, "now come on yugyeom,"

yugyeom sighed, at last nodding his head. as he got up to leave the room, he spun his hands around quickly.

_i'll explain everything when i get back. no secrets, you really helped me today._

mark nodded, "see you guys later, good luck,"

park slammed the door behind him and yugyeom, grumbling, "fuck off," as he did so.

once again, mark was left with the angry thought that park was the biggest dickhead he had ever met.

he quickly dispelled it, which was a big first for him. usually, he liked to wallow in how much he hated park. but this time, he remembered park's story and how much he had gone through.

and to be fair, he was probably under a lot of stress: two of his friends had literally been kidnapped by his crazy ex.

when mark thought about it, it kinda sounded insane.

he shrugged, happy that he had left the insane stuff for other people to handle and decided to go looking for a job.

afterall, he was running out of random snacks, and would need some income pretty soon.

he definitely didn't want to starve.


	19. glock

the sun glinted as it began it's fall back down the sky, it's signal that the day was starting to end only spurring jinyoung to run faster, so much so that yugyeom could barely keep up. he coughed and spluttered behind jinyoung, illiciting groans here and there- one of the few noises he could make without a tongue.

but jinyoung didn't have time to stop and let yugyeom catch his breath. time was running out. that and jaebeom was a pyscho- with each passing second, terrible things could be happening to jackson and bambam.

though he had not forgotten that the whole situation was most likey a trap to catch him out when he least expected it, jinyoung couldn't spare even a single thought to his own safety.

he had bambam to worry about- the boy had only been at wingate for half a year, he was young and brighteyed. he didn't deserve the pain that jaebeom could cause.  
he had jackson to worry about- his oldest friend. and sure, jackson could probably handle himself but jinyoung would hate himself if jaebeom so much as laid a finger on him.  
and he had yugyeom to worry about- the boy had already gone through too much, it wasn't fair for anything else to happen to him.

so he just ran, or sped walked when the crowds of people got too thick for him to run, until he found the address of the warehouse. he just prayed that nayeon's intel was right and that jackson and bambam really were there. yugyeom caught up, bending almost in half in an attempt to catch his breath. his face, adorned with rosy cheeks from running, was also blotchy and wet.

"you've been crying haven't you?" jinyoung asked, barely able to avoid rolling his eyes, "about bambam,"

yugyeom nodded slowly as his hands flinched by his side. jinyoung was sure he had something to say, and wanted to say it. but the older couldn't understand sign language, so yugyeom's arms remained glued to his sides.

"we go in through the back door- okay?" jinyoung said, "we sneak in, crouched low and survey. if jackson and bambam are in danger in any way- we attack. if not, we stay in the shadows and listen,"

yugyeom didn't react at all.

"do you hear me kim? this is serious,"

 _i'm scared_ he signed, though jinyoung had no hope of understanding. so jinyoung just took it to mean yes, and started making careful steps over to the red back door of the warehouse. the wet grass tickled his exposed ankles as he slowly approached the door. he really hoped it wasn't creaky, but judging by the state of the warehouse, it probably was.

his confidence wavered but he still put his hand on the handle and started to push. yugyeom watched nervously, not even breathing anymore. he was too scared to make even the tiniest noise.

the minute the door was opened, even if it was just by a crack, the two boys heard voices. they were voices that they knew very well and jinyoung froze.

"please.... pl-please don't,"

bambam.

yugyeom looked like he wanted to be sick, suddenly gesturing for jinyoung to hurry up and open the door. his wild eyes flicked around anxiously as jinyoung edged the door open further. bambam's gentle sobs filled their ears but they couldn't see anything. the inside of the warehouse was dark and murky.

"j-jaebeom..." bambam paused to breath in raggedly, "don't...i-it hurts.. please,"

jaebeom laughed and that was enough for yugyeom.   
he pushed the door open, flinching slightly as it clanged loudly against the wall behind it. in the low light, jinyoung was just about able to see jaebeom's head whip to them, where light was now pouring in. his hand unwrapped from the knife lodged in bambam's leg, the wound sending waves of blood cascading onto the floor.

bambam was convulsing with an unconscious jackson flopped over a chair beside him. perhaps jackson wasn't unconscious, jinyoung was sure he could see him shifting, like he was trying to escape the ropes tying his wrists together. after seeing his friends in such a bad state, jaebeom was almost a forgotten thought.

but jinyoung didn't have much time to trace his eyes over the scene in front of him before he was brought back to yugyeom.

yugyeom who had a glock in his hands, and was training it right at jaebeom's head. his eyes were full of so much anger and hatred that jinyoung unconsciously backed further away. his back hit the dirty warehouse wall as yugyeom's hands shook.

bambam cried out, his tear stained voice thick and groggy, "YUGYEOM DON'T,"

but yugyeom wasn't listening, he was blinded by the man chuckling in front of him. it was quite surprising, actually, that jaebeom didn't have any back up in the warehouse.

"what's up gyeomie?" jaebeom laughed, "pissed i cut your tongue out? ....or is the problem that i've been twisting my knife into your little boyfriend over here?"

he gestured to bambam who struggled against the ropes cutting into his skin, "PUT THE GUN DOWN," he shouted.

yugyeom glared at him, not needing to sign anything for bambam to understand that nothing he would say would make yugyeom take the gun off of jaebeom.

jaebeom shook his head, looking amused, "you won't shoot me yugyeom. you're too much of a coward. i still remember how you screamed, when you could, of course. how you pleaded for mercy when i cut out your tongue. you're just a wimp who doesn't belong here. snitches like you never belong at wingate."

it was jinyoung's turn to get angry now, "he watched you fucking kill a guy jaebeom! of course he was gonna fucking snitch you out to the police. you're a pyschopathic dickhead,"

"dickhead huh? says the boy who's in love with me,"

"i may still be in love with you. but i'm not an idiot you fucker." jinyoung didn't want to fight jaebeom, it was too tiring- always ending in his heart aching so badly he wanted to tear it out. so he turned his attention to yugyeom, "yugyeom put the gun down. you'll only get a prison sentence if you shoot him."

yugyeom grunted in frustration. he couldn't explain himself, there was no way he could tell jinyoung just how angry he was, how much jaebeom had taken. how much jaebeom had ruined his life.

he was just so so angry and he had nothing to lose anyway. a prison sentence would be the least of his concerns.

jaebeom had taken his tongue, and with it, his whole life. he had been waiting for years to get his revenge and it was finally time.   
yugyeom was ready to kill im jaebeom.

but still, jaebeom was smirking. and still, his finger was quivering over the trigger.


	20. traitor

the first thing yugyeom noticed was the pain rippling across his palm as the gun went spinning out of hands and skittering across the floor. it burst across his palm, leaving a red mark where the barrel had slammed into his hand as the bullet ricocheted over to jaebeom.

even with his eyes screwed tightly shut, he could sense bambam and jinyoung's looks of horror. he decided it was best to not open his eyes, for fear of seeing what he had done.

the next thing he noticed was jinyoung's scream, the deep throaty noise bounced around the warehouse, almost as loud as the sound of jaebeom as he dropped to the floor. the thud caused tears to spring to yugyeom's eyes. he had really pressed the trigger.

blood was already spreading across the floor around jaebeom, soaking his clothes and splashing his face. it was the first thing yugyeom saw as he slowly peeled his eyes open.

he swallowed down his urge to vomit, hand wobbling over his lips and ran to bambam, not even thinking twice before pulling him into a hug, long and deep.

a stifled groan whispered past bambam's lips, he was trying so hard to hold back the sobs. the pain from the knife in his leg was indescribable and he felt himself gripping tightly onto yugyeom's jacket.

his blood was dripping onto yugyeom, but the younger didn't care. his friend was safe. his friend was alive.

jaebeom hadn't done anything.

and as far as yugyeom knew, jaebeom would never do anything again.

before he knew what was going on, he was crying into bambam's shoulder. they were heart-wrenching desperate sobs, making yugyeom's whole body shake and his eyes sting from the salt of his tears.

bambam, suddenly overcome with everything that had happened, pushed him away, "you fucked up yugyeom," he whispered, "we're fucked,"

yugyeom could hardly hear him over the sound of jinyoung's wails. but bambam's words still caused something in his heart to twang.

his eyebrows furrowed, enough for bambam to know he needed to explain further.

"d-did you..." bambam continued, hoarse voice still barely audible, "did you really k-kill him?"

_i don't know. it all happened so fast_

bambam ran a blood covered hand through his hair, leaving red streaks clogging the strands together, "what are we gonna do? gyeom, you'll get sent to prison..."

tears flooded his eyes as yugyeom watched, unable to respond, "you... you can't leave m-"

"CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE YUGYEOM YOU PIECE OF SHIT," 

in the midst of his guilt and all the chaos that went along with it, yugyeom had almost forgotten that park was still in the room, and that he was crying. but of course he was crying, no matter what happened he was still in love with the bastard that was im jaebeom.

problems had risen time and time again because of it, and yugyeom was in his right mind to tell park to sod off and run back into jaebeom's murderous arms. he was sick of it, of how park would always 'forgive and forget', how every damn time jaebeom did something awful, he would defend him.

he was basically sleeping with the enemy, and soon, yugyeom feared it would get them all killed.

so as he stood there in front of bambam, eyes drawn to park, he couldn't help the anger from boiling up. park's real friend had a knife in his leg, and the other was unconscious flopped over a chair. yet all park cared about was the fucker who started the whole thing.

yugyeom gave park the middle finger.

"I WILL FUCKING HAND YOU TO THE POLICE KIM," park continued to shout from where he was tearfully shaking jaebeom's shoulders. yugyeom was sure he had never seen him this angry, but he was overcome by his own anger too. seeing park's glaring eyes only riled him up more.

"do you really care about jaebeom this much? he's evil," 

yugyeom smirked as bambam stood up for him, even if there were tears still streaming down his face. bambam was loyal like that, and _actually_ stuck up for his _own_ team-mates, rather than ditching them for the enemy. 

jinyoung's gaze hardened, "i love him bambam, you wouldn't understand," 

that, more than anything, made yugyeom wish he had a tongue so he could shout "fuck off," to park, who seemed like he was almost trying to get on his nerves. 

"what i'm seeing is you siding with the bad guy who has, and i cannot stress this enough, CUT OFF YUGYEOM'S TONGUE... and you're really gonna take his side right now? real low jinyoung," 

park stood up from beside jaebeom and made his way over to bambam, becoming angrier and angrier with each step. even if he was walking over with the intent to argue, his eyes never left jaebeom's bloody figure.

"fuck off," he growled, now hovering beside yugyeom, "and call an ambulance, the bullet is still stuck in his leg and he's unconscious." 

"he's not dead?" bambam's surprised voice perfectly imitated how yugyeom was feeling inside. the hope that twinged inside of him was incredible, he hadn't realised how horrible he had felt about potentially killing jaebeom until the moment he realised he hadn't.

"no he's not dead, you'd be fucked up if he was. but he'll be dead soon if you don't hurry up and call a fucking ambulance," 

park was hastily undoing his belt as the conversation continued and he wrapped it around jaebeom's thigh, where yugyeom had assumed the bullet had hit. it was slightly funny how off he was, when he had been aiming for jaebeom's head. park's last ditch effort to prevent the bleeding wasn't going well, the belt didn't do much and blood still spilled onto the floor.

yugyeom chuckled. 

_let him die_

"yugyeom says let him die," 

yugyeom wished bambam hadn't translated that.

it was the final straw.

park's hands were bloody as he flew at yugyeom. his fist was raised and he looked ready to kill, a look yugyeom had seen many times. he knew what happened when that face appeared so he cowered away from park, taking a deep gasp as he felt the older's fingers around his throat. 

time seemed to stop. air was suddenly gone.   
yugyeom couldn't breathe.

"what the FUCK?" a voice called from the open door and park's hand dropped from where it had snaked around yugyeom's neck, "park what are you doing?" 

"m-mark..?" 

the newly entered mark wasted no time rushing to where bambam had groaned out his name, grimacing as he saw the steady onslaught of blood pouring from his leg. yugyeom followed him with one hand wrapped around his neck defensively as he watched mark tear his shirt and wrap it around bambam's leg. 

it was kind of weird, yugyeom thought, that mark had actually shown up. 

said boy had pulled bambam into a tight hug, surprising them both, "shit bambam, what happened? are you okay?" mark's eyes drifted to jaebeom's body lying a few metres from where bambam was sat, unconscious jackson beside him, "is.. that jaebeom? what the fuck?" 

"it's a long story," bambam said, "and we don't have much time. don't let park call an ambulance," 

"why?" 

"yugyeom kinda sorta maybe shot jaebeom and we don't wanna get him arrested," 

but when mark looked up to spot park in the practically empty warehouse, he couldn't find him anywhere. his eyes scanned over every wall and every inch of the blood stained floor but park really was gone. 

jaebeom's body still lay where it was, though, leading mark to believe that park hadn't gone far. his brain had immediately figured out what was going on: jaebeom had been injured and park had taken his side.

in a way, he expected it after the talk they had had. 

bambam shifted uncomfortably, mark hadn't said anything yet. he was worried he too would get angry at yugyeom. 

"he's not here anymore," mark eventually said, pausing as he watched bambam's eyes grow wide, "but there's nothing we can do, it's probably already too late. yugyeom did you really shoot him?" 

yugyeom nodded. 

_you hate me don't you?_

"no, i kinda think he deserved it..," mark smiled tightly at him, "but... we need to wake jackson up somehow,"

mark had felt bad about not going to help park. so, in the spur of the moment, he had decided that he would, in fact, come to the warehouse.

maybe it was the fact that he was beginning to actually like park as a friend and... sometimes he thought maybe it'd be good as something more... but he didn't like to think about it. it only stressed him out, he was meant to hate park. the guy was kind of a dickhead.

maybe _jinyoung_ was different, like bambam and yugyeom had said.

either way, he had not expected to enter and see jaebeom practically dying, bambam with a knife in his leg and jackson unconscious. 

it had almost rattled him to his core and would've sent old mark spiraling out of control, yet somehow, new mark was starting to take the lead. he felt kind of confident, like he knew how to handle the situation, which was very new to him.

the guys at wingate were beginning to have an effect on him. or perhaps he had grown accustomed to violence in the short of amount of time he had been living at the estate.

he had witnessed more fights and stabbings than he cared to think about.

jackson, however, was beginning to worry him as he saw a clear liquid dripping from the boy's head. seeing him in that state, mark had snapped into 'big brother mode', something he didn't think he'd ever have to use again after abandoning joey in america.

but there he was, in the middle of it all- exactly where he didn't want to be. and for some reason, he was in control. 

"right yugyeom, you help bambam, try and stop the bleeding or something and i'll see if i can get jackson to wake up," mark ran a hand across his head, thinking hard, "park's probably called the police already... all we can do is help bam and jackson and... yugyeom... i'm sorry bu-" 

_\--_ _it's fine. i fucked up. i'm probably gonna get arrested._

bambam's eyes glistened with fresh tears, "b-but i need you," 

his leg had started to stop bleeding on its own, the knife preventing any more from spilling so yugyeom didn't rush to help in any way, just looked at bambam with blank eyes.

_you'll be fine.. i didn't actually murder him right? i'll be let go._

"gyeom..." mark sighed, "you shot a guy, with the intent to murder... you're not getting off lightly,"

"no..." bambam whispered, "no... he can't," 

yugyeom looked down at his shoes, he couldn't bare to see bambam's desperate eyes. he could picture them though, the same look from when jaebeom had cut his tongue- the emptiness and shock blending into one. 

he didn't look up.   
not even when sirens sounded in the distance.   
not even when jaebeom started to groan on the floor, conscious again, or when jackson sat up after mark had done something that yugyeom hadn't been watching. 

bambam's wail was the only thing that caused his gaze to lift. 

"YUGYEOM LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW," 

a car door shut in the distance, followed by the sounds of hushed voices whispering behind the door of the warehouse. 

all of them within the warehouse, even jaebeom, held their breath as they all listened to the voices and bambam's breathless cries. 

they shook yugyeom in a way he thought nothing could. 

deep and desperate. like bambam's life was ending right there. 

yugyeom looked slowly up at him, only making bambam cry harder. 

"don't... don't... leave," bambam said between shaking, hollow breaths. 

_we'll see._

"EVERYONE HANDS IN THE AIR, DROP YOUR WEAPONS,"

bambam threw his head into his hands and only cried more.


	21. too late

it all happened so quickly, mark didn't have time to think.

one minute yugyeom was stood next to him, startled fear wiped across his face, the next he was being tackled to the floor by at least 3 police officers.

seeing the handcuffs click into place behind yugyeom's back only launched bambam into another hysterical cry and mark had wanted to go over and hug him but a paramedic began escorting him away.

he was placed on a stretcher, one young woman fumbling with the knife in his leg as she tried to quell the onslaught of blood. and then bambam was gone, out of the warehouse.

when mark looked around, he saw jaebeom and jackson had been taken away too, just leaving him and park, who for some reason had entered the warehouse with the police. perhaps to spread more lies about what had really happened in the warehouse, clearing jaebeom's name, making him look like the victim.

just looking at park made mark want to stab him. his eyes locked on the gun that yugyeom had used, kicked under a rusty pipe and barely visible, and for a split second he thought about using it on park. his hand shook with the need to do _something._

but the feeling quickly subsided when park collapsed to the floor. it seemed to mark as though he was crying more than bambam had been, which had seemed almost impossible.

it was weird seeing park cry, he was meant to be the strong, fearless one. seeing such a fierce man flooded with tears made mark's heart bleed for him.

he knew what it was like to cry like that.

but still, it was hard to feel bad for him.  
he had betrayed everyone.  
he had betrayed mark, and bambam... and yugyeom... poor yugyeom who was being shoved into a police van and sent careening off to the nearest precinct.

yet mark found himself walking over to where park was kneeling. he wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, at once feeling how they shook and shuddered with each shiver of tears.

"mark..." park choked out, looking up to face mark with his blotchy red face, "... mark i'm so s-sorry... i-i,"

"it's okay.. just i-... yugyeom's gone park," mark paused to take a shaking breath, wincing as the sound of tears crackled within it, " _you_ made him leave... h-how could you?!"

park stared at the floor, wiping away tears as soon as they sprung to his eyes. he didn't want to be the weak one, "i wanted to start again. with you. and i ruined everything,"

"yeah.. you did."

"i-i've ruined _his_ life too. i sent him to prison,"

mark saw things beginning to click into place in park's head, he could practically see the cogs turning.

"oh god..." park jumped up from the floor, pushing mark off him, "OH GOD I'VE SENT YUGYEOM TO PRISON,"

he was pacing now, not even flinching when the police came back in, he just kept walking. mark told them they'd come to the station to give statements in a few minutes, and that they just needed to sort some things out.

meanwhile, park was descending into chaos, his small sobs becoming breathless wails that filled the whole warehouse. he was becoming panicky and from what mark could see, the man could hardly breathe.

"park!" he said, but park barely acknowledged his presence, "park! just tell me why you did it."

park stopped in his tracks, head whipping around suddenly. his eyes were wild and tear-stained, making him look more than slightly insane.

"b-because i love jaebeom..." his breath hitched, "... i love the worst person on earth,"

"can't argue with that,"

park fell to his knees once again and mark rushed over, something about the way he just flopped worried the older. park was in a terrible place, and mark was beginning to wonder if maybe he wasn't as angry at him as he had thought he was.

if he could just convince park to tell the truth when he gave his statement.... tell the police jaebeom stabbed bambam.... that the bullet was out of self defence....

everything could be fixed.

"what...what do i do?" park's tears didn't stop, "i've ruined everything. i've messed everything u- bambam's gonna hate me,"

mark pulled him closer, stroking his arm gently, "park, we'll get him out," he said sternly and it was the first time he noticed how close the two were, their faces only inches apart. his breath caught in his chest. up close, park was even more gorgeous.

but it wasn't the time. mark needed to focus, needed to convince park to help convict jaebeom.

but his mind was wandering and as much as he hated to think it, mark was beginning to enjoy park's company more and more, and maybe even found him kind of attractive. despite his love of the enemy. he felt gross thinking it, but the boy truly was beautiful. painfully so.

park rubbed his tears away with the back of his hand, "jinyoung. my name is jinyoung."

a tense chuckle escaped mark's lips, "well then... _jinyoung_ we'll get him out, you were just doing what you thought was right,"

park said nothing in return, just nodded and let a few more stray tears fall down his cheek. his messy hair was falling into his face and mark reached up and pushed a few strands behind his ear, smiling softly as he did so.

"you'll be okay... gyeom will be okay,"

the man didn't look nearly as frightening as he once had. he looked vulnerable, and mark almost laughed at the idea that it was him looking after park and not the other way around.

park looked to him with quizzical eyes, though they were still red with tears. his hair fell back into his face.

"i uh... you had some hair in your face and i dunno i just-"

"kiss me mark tuan."

the voice thick with tears was kind of a turn off but mark still found himself squirming.

"w-what? i-i," mark's cheeks flushed red, he could feel the heat clouding on his face.

park didn't drop eye contact, his eyes looking almost lustful, "i need to get over jaebeom. otherwise i'll keep on doing bullshit like this. so... kiss me,"

mark laughed, a breathless sort of laugh proving just now nervous he was, "a rebound? classy."

"shut up and do it,"

shut up. there it was again. park was always telling him to do that, to shut up.

still, mark's face grew to an even deeper shade of red, even his ears turning a light shade of pink, "it's not that i don't want to kiss you pa- jinyoung... i just- if you love jaebeom why would you kiss me? i mean, _i_ want to kiss you because you're gorgeous bu-"

"--what if i want to kiss you too?"

now was not the time, mark thought. he didn't want to kiss park, he wanted to pull yugyeom and bambam into his arms and cry with them as everything went to shit. they had become his best friends, he needed them.

there was a potential that yugyeom would be sent to prison, and mark felt that of all times, he shouldn't be kissing park then.

but park's eyes were hard, and it so made mark want to kiss him. even if that very thought disgusted him.

jinyoung thought he had fucked up when he had tried to force mark to come with him to the warehouse.

in truth, for a while mark had been confusing him. he was the only one who he had personally told about jaebeom and his parents and... everything. everytime mark was around, jinyoung would feel a weird sort of fluttery feeling in his stomach, he couldn't stop thinking about him.

if mark had been anyone else, he would've ignored him the minute he had arrived in wingate. that's what he did to most new reds ever since the breakup.

but then mark was mark.   
and jinyoung was enthralled.

he was so shy yet so argumentative.   
he was so curious.  
he was so beautiful.

jinyoung wasn't sure if it was love, and there was only one way to test it.

"y-you want to kiss me? wha-"

jinyoung connected their lips, cupping mark's face roughly and pulling the older towards him.

mark jumped backwards at first, surprised at the sudden movement but he slowly leant back into it.

he felt nothing.   
no spark  
no magic  
no rainbows

just saliva. 

so he was the first to pull away. park shrugged, "i still love jaebeom,"

and even if the kiss had been bad, mark's heart was still pounding and his breath was still stolen and everything about park was beautiful.

yet he couldn't look the guy in the eyes.

"s-sorry..." he whispered, dragging his feet from the floor, "i-i've got to find yugyeom and... you should go back home and-"

"what if i want to see yugyeom too?"

mark sighed, "fuck you."

"wha-"

"fuck you for kissing me when i should be with my friends. fuck you for being so mean all the time. fuck you for getting my friend sent to FUCKING PRISON,"

park's eyes flitted around, confused, "b-but we... just kissed. i kissed you mark."

"which was stupid. why would i want to kiss you?"

"... you said you wanted to?"

mark was getting angry now, the kind of rage he had hoped he had left in america. he could almost imagine steam coming out of his ears.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE." he took a deep breath, "i will never forgive you,"

more tears fell from park's eyes.

"as long as i live, i will never forgive you. i was finally happy here, i was starting to fall for you, yugyeom and bambam had said they'd be my friends. and sure, jaebeom was scary but i felt like i finally fit in somewhere,"

mark hated when he cried when he was angry, but hot tears were dripping from his eyes, "and now yugyeom is gone and you kissed me when it was too fucking late."

"mark. with all due respect, shut up,"

"STOP TELLING ME TO SHUT UP!" mark roared, storming his way to the still wide open door of the warehouse.

"why are you so upset? talk to me."

mark's head whipped around, "since when did you care?"

"since i kissed you."

"everyone in my life leaves," mark fell against the door, "either that or they're a fuck up, like you. i can't kiss you or do anything with you because i'm not dating another fuck up who secretly loves someone else the whole time and never cares about me,"

park sighed, and began to pull himself to his feet, making his way tentatively over to mark, "what was his name?"

"youngjae. and i don't want to talk about it." more tears, more angry tears that mark hated, "just leave me alone. let me think. let me get my friend back... i can't lose him."

"..maybe i don't love jaebeom anymore,"

"yeah... dunno what i was expecting..." mark muttered to himself before turning around, "fuck off park,"

"it's jinyoung."

"fuck off _park_ ,"


	22. slumber party

time passed so slowly, yet so quickly at the same time, mark found it hard to breathe. everything that had happened with park swam in his head: the anger, the kiss, the fight. 

he didn't regret any of it, he just wished it had turned out differently. but then, he also wished that park wasn't such a massive dickhead, which was more than impossible. maybe the only reason their budding friendship had soured was because the guy was simply a bad person.

either way, mark found himself reverting back to his old self, the self that hated park. and just when he thought things were finally turning around. 

after he left the warehouse, he had headed straight home. simply, he just wasn't in the mood to deal with the police and their questions so he didn't head to the station as he had been asked to do. 

neither did he go to the hospital to check on bambam and jackson like he had initially intended to. to be honest, he was just too tired. life in wingate never ceased to surprise him in how hard it was. he hadn't even been there that long, and he was already thinking that his horrible life in america was much easier.

with this thought in mind, he decided to head straight back to wingate, sparing next to no thought for his two injured friends, his other locked behind bars nor the boy he hated more than anything. 

the minute he arrived at his apartment, after keeping a wary eye out for any late night dangers in the courtyard, he collapsed onto his mattress taking long heaving breaths.

"fuck," he muttered to himself, feeling how every muscle in his body ached. he wanted to have a shower but he was too tired, so instead he opted for changing into his only other shirt which was a tad less sweaty than the one he had on. feeling a little cleaner, he grabbed a pack of biscuits from inside his backpack and ate them with his head rested on the wall behind him.

he was so done.

why did park have to kiss him?   
and why was he fingering his lips gently, feeling where park had pressed his own?

and why did his heart beat faster?

he pushed it away, park was dick. a full on dickhead who mark wanted nothing to do with. he was in love with a pyschopath and he ditched his best friends. that was not the kind of person mark wanted to get involved with.

yet, park wouldn't leave his mind.

since he had first seen the guy he had been thinking about him, that fateful day when jackson had taken him to park's apartment. mark could still taste the smoke from jackson's cigarette in the back of his throat, still remember the scowl that had adorned park's face. he had been terrified of the man, absolutely scared stiff. 

it was funny. now he knew that park was just a lonely loser in love with the wrong guy he wasn't scared of him in the slightest. 

now, mark just hated him.   
or maybe he didn't.

he still couldn't quite tell what the kiss had meant to him. 

but it was undoubteable that park struck a nerve with mark, who was usually a calm and quiet person. that shouting match was a rare occasion, and something very out of place for the introvert. park just brought something out in him, and he couldn't tell if it was good or bad yet.

but even if he couldn't decide whether he hated park or wanted to kiss him again, it didn't stop the anger rising in his chest when park knocked on his door at 9pm.

when he pulled the door open, rather unhappily, he had wanted to scream. what did he have to do to deserve some peace and quiet? no-one would leave him alone for more than half an hour. in a way, he felt violated.

still, he allowed park to make his way into the apartment with a grunt of, "come in,"

park nodded and surveyed the room, eyes drifting across the various things mark had stuck to his wall before resting on mark's own eyes. 

"i'm sorry for kissing you," park said, in a way that made mark bristle with frustration. he sounded so nonchalant.

"whatever.. why are you here?" 

mark didn't have time for his games. he just wanted him to say what he needed to say and then get his ass out of the room so mark could sleep. to prove this point, he yawned, emphasizing it so that park would hopefully get the hint.

it didn't seem like he did, regretfully.

"to apologize. i made a mistake mark... i shouldn't have brought you into this. it's me who fucked up, i should leave you alone," 

"finally figured it out huh?" he was getting impatient. 

a small smile flitted to park's lips, "you were meant to say that it's okay and that you forgive me," 

"what if i don't?" 

"well then.." park wandered further into the room before landing rather heavily on the mattress mark had been sat on only moments prior, "i guess i'll have to make you," 

mark rolled his eyes and slammed his front door shut, it was obvious park wasn't going anywhere. he thought he might as well hear the idiot out. besides sleeping, he had nothing better to do anyway. 

moving to sit next to park, mark's angry sigh filled the empty silence. 

"park. you fucked up okay? first, you sided with jaebeom. second, you called the fucking cops on our best friend. third, you kissed me just to get over your crazy ex," he paused to sigh again, "there's too much forgiving to do. and i'm not sure if i'll be able to do any at all," 

"but i know i fucked up. and i'm sorry. i don't say that often mark,"

"and that's your whole problem isn't it?! you don't care about anyone unless it benefits you. you only apologize or feel bad when things don't turn out how you want them," 

mark was saying things he hadn't even thought of until that moment. as he spoke, he started to realise more and more why park was the way he was. as he did, he got more and more riled up. the guy was seriously pissing him off. 

"that's not true. i help so many people so fuck you," park stood up from the mattress, now angry himself, "i welcome every single red who walks into this estate with open arms. i help them all," 

"and you make them sell drugs? no?" mark had almost forgotten that he had signed a contract with park to help him sell drugs, "that's what i should be doing right now? am i wrong?" 

"forget about the drugs. i'll help you find a real job... you don't have to do anything mark i'm sorr-" 

"that doesn't change that bambam and yugyeom had to," 

park's eyes widened as he shook his head, "but they're fine with it,"

it looked to mark as though even park himself didn't believe the nonsense and lies that he was spouting.

"are they? have you checked in with them recently?" mark laughed sadistically, dropping eye contact with park who had begun to pace around the room, "oh wait... you can't. you sent yugyeom to prison," 

at this, park slumped against a wall, throwing his head in his hands. it looked like he was crying, but when he lifted his head again, his cheeks were dry.

"please..." he whispered, his voice reflecting how overwhelmed he felt, "please don't be mad at me, not you," 

mark thought back to the kiss. it was the worst time to think about it: with park freaking out next to him, with anger boiling his blood, with his thoughts full of hating the man beside him. 

he felt the anger float away, to be replaced by a fluttering feeling in his stomach which was only heightened when park looked directly into his eyes.

"i'm so, so sorry mark. i'll do anything to make it up to you," 

"anything?" mark had an idea.

"ask away." 

taking a deep breath, mark said, "testify against jaebeom. tell the police that he's the real criminal and that yugyeom should be set free," 

he paused to survey park's reaction, it wasn't looking good, "park, if you do this i will 100% forgive you," 

that seemed to make up park's mind.

"i'll do it," 


	23. sick bug

park stayed in mark's house for a long while. too long, if you asked mark. apparently, convincing him to betray jaebeom was a lot harder than mark had initially suspected.

he went on and on about how bad he would feel, throwing jaebeom under the bus. mark could only listen in growing exasperation as his hopes of getting yugyeom out of prison sunk until he was sure it would never happen. it was an odd feeling of sadness, something he had never experienced before, not even when he left joey. he felt almost useless, like there was nothing he could do to help his new friend.

but then, after at least a few hours of debate, park finally said, "he doesn't deserve prison. mark, i really will help you," and the conversation ended.

somehow, mark had a hard time believing him, he had seen his loyalty to jaebeom only hours prior. how could he trust that what park was saying was the whole truth? but it was past midnight, and he was just ready for park to leave as quickly as possible. he was ready to be alone, and to deal with the events of the night by himself.

so the last thing he wanted was to hear yet another knock at his door. even though the person had knocked lightly and shyly, it sounded loud through the silent room, making mark jump slightly. of course someone else was coming to disturb him, just as park was about to leave- it made sense, what with all his bad luck recently.

"again?!" he murmured to himself, illicting a loud burst of laughter from park. he sent park a glare as he stomped over to the door for what felt like the thousandth time that night, even if it was only the second. he pulled the door open, already wishing the person behind it to be gone. he didn't want to deal with any more people's problems that night- he had had enough.

but there stood bambam.  
small.  
shaking.  
scared.

the boy collapsed into mark's arms, and mark stumbled backwards, immediately noticing the bandage wrapped around bambam's leg. it was drenched in blood. but as mark inspected it closer, it looked as though bambam had gone to the hospital, the bandages were too neat and tight to have been done by solar, the red's medic. she was the only one medically trained, but she wasn't _that_ good. mark was glad that bambam had got some professional help, the cut had looked horrible, life threatening even.

even if he was relieved at bambam's physical state, it wasn't that that was worrying. more so, it was the way bambam had collapsed, light as a feather, into him. the boy looked helpless, like maybe his grief at potentially losing yugyeom had manifested itself somewhat into his physical strength. he was shaking so much, and mark was sure he would barely be able to support his own weight- he wondered how he had been allowed out of the hospital at all.

with new found adrenaline coarsing through him, mark's eyes flitted to park who remained seated, bambam wouldn't stop shivering and mark was getting scared. but park did nothing, just shrugged and averted his gaze. there was no reason for mark to be surprised, ever since he had arrived at wingate, park had been avoiding all his problems- most specifically his infatuation and loyalty to jaebeom.

however, the minute bambam started to cry into mark's shoulder, the previously uninterested park lept up from where he had been sat and peeled the two apart. the emotion held deep within his eyes was unreadable, even mark couldn't tell how he was feeling as bambam turned to look at him. bambam, however, made it very obvious. the tears dissappated from his eyes, to be replaced by a hard sort of anger that mark had never seen in bambam before. the boy visibly tensed as he glared park down.

"how dare you." was all he said, the words coming from deep within his throat, threatening.

park pushed his shoulders back, determined to keep what little dignity he had as he grovelled at bambam's feet (metaphorically of course), "bam... i really am sorry... mark and i have talked it out and i really think tha-"

"don't do this. don't pretend to be apologetic when you're not. it's obvious you're not, park. i've known you, what? 6 months? in that time, i haven't heard you apologize once, or even feel bad about anything. you're a ruthless, stone cold piece of shit who abandoned his team-mates... his friends for a pyschopath that was trying to KILL US! do you know how that makes you look? do you know how fucking upset i am? you've taken away the person i care about most over your petty crush on a guy who really belongs in a mental institute. park! what you did was unforgiveable. and i'm not easy like mark. he's a greenie, and lowkey wants to kiss you... so sure, he may have forgiven you, but i won't. understand that now, and stop trying to be all sappy and nice. you're not,"

it was weird, how park seemed to snap out of the state mark had seen him grow into that evening. it was obvious, when he switched straight back to the persona he had been playing ever since mark had arrived, that had only changed after.... _the kiss._

"if you want me to be like that. i'll be like that." he said, with that same empty stare that mark had grown to know well, even over the course of a week. he was park again. the attempts to become jinyoung were once again forgotten. and whilst mark had agreed with everything bambam had said, he wished the boy hadn't voiced it. the progress he had made with park was unravelling right in front of him, as the two men in front of him stared each other down.

bambam shrugged, "just be yourself. be your same, evil lunatic self,"

park bristled, his shoulders widening, "don't speak to me like that bambam."

"or what?"

"i won't help yugyeom get out of prison." he paused, "he'll rot there, i'll make sure of it."

silence fell, leaving mark to chuckle awkwardly, in a desperate attempt to release some of the tension that had flooded the room, "that was... that was a joke right?"

bambam collpased further into his arms, the shouting match obviously starting to take it's toll on his weak body. as he did, park shrugged, and whilst it was just a slight movement of the shoulders, it held a deeper meaning. it looked like park was planning on going against his word, it looked like park was ready to side with jaebeom again.

mark shook his hands, at once grabbing bambam's attention, just what he wanted. and as the silence in the room grew, he slowly and subtely signed to bambam about the situation.

_park really was going to help yugyeom. we were talking for hours. if you take back what you said, maybe he still will._

bambam looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded, almost immediately saying, "i'm sorry for snapping. i didn't mean it. will you please help us help yugyeom?"  
whilst what he had said sounded forced and entirely unnatural, it seemed to be enough for park, who nodded and grunted, "okay."

mark wished it would be that easy, but he was sure that park would need a lot more convincing as time progressed and the police started to call them in for statements.

with the conversation about yugyeom drawn to a close, the three boys stared at each other awkwardly, until eventually mark spoke up, "hey bambam? why are you not at the hospital still? you look bad?"

this was greeted by a dry laugh from bambam, "it's too expensive, if i stayed overnight i'd never be able to pay it off. jackson's staying though, apparently his head injury was pretty serious, we're gonna have to team up to pay his bills,"

park nodded, but mark could only shiver and look down at the floor. he hastily dropped bambam as carefully as he could onto his mattress as he felt his own arms start to shake. he was used to it, every time he so much as thought about hospital bills, even just hospitals themselves, everything that happened in america would come crashing back down.

his eyes started to blur as his mind ran away with itself, conjuring images of joey, of his mother and father, of his own skinny frame as he cried in the mirror. everything. absolutely every painstaking second. for a while, he let it all climb over him, suffocating him as he remembered the debt and the panic and all the tests and trials and xrays. but then, he felt someone wrap their arms around him, and he was grounded.

park whispered in his ear, "shh.. it's okay, it's okay.." as bambam stared up at him in terror. they stayed like that for a while as mark tried to calm his beating heart and attempted to tame his wild, fast breaths: park with his arm's gripping mark tightly, bambam looking on in abject horror.

and when park finally pulled away, he didn't waste a single second in asking, "mark. what was that about?"

bambam followed, "you should talk about it.. y'know.. if it's getting you that riled up."

mark shook as he spoke, "i-i've never spoken about it before... the reason i came here..."

"do you want me to go first?"

it was then mark realised he knew nothing of bambam's life other than the fact that his best friend was yugyeom and that he lived in wingate. so, he took bambam up on his offer, still shaking as he thought about finally sharing his own story.

he had never wanted to speak of it again. but as bambam said, maybe it would help.

still, he could put it off for the time being as he listened to bambam's story.

and with that, bambam began, all the while avoiding park's gaze, the anger at his 'leader' still creeping up in his voice.

 _ever since i was young i knew there was something wrong with my family. not like park's where all that happened was his parents ditched him, not like whatever is wrong with_ _your's_ _mark... i knew they were criminals._

_sure, we all came here for different reasons, but most, if not all of the other reds, are just losers. they were abandoned like park or fell out with their parents or something. nothing as bad as me_

_me, well, i've done some shit._

_i told you a while ago, mark, that if i told you why i'm here you'd hate_ _me-_ _and i still stand by that. there's no doubt that you'll come away from this thinking that i'm an awful person._

_i like to blame all of it on my family and the fact that i was young and impressionable, but truth is... my family were part of a gang in_ _thailand_ _. and, after a while, i joined it._

_before you say anything, sure, i've sold and done drugs since i've been at wingate. but it's only been small scale, and it's only been for keeping myself fed and alive. it was nothing too bad._

_but my family, we used to do it hardcore. and we used to kill people who stood in our way._

_i've only killed once._   
_but once is enough._

_once you kill one guy, that's it. you're a murderer. and i did it. i killed a supplier who decided one day that he would stop supplying. at age 15, i dug a knife into his throat as my father stood in the corner and instructed me._

_it haunted me ever since. it was the moment i realised i had fucked up. before then, i was properly in the business, learning all i could, hurting all i could, being as bad and cruel as i could possibly manage._

_but when i killed that guy. kim joonhyung. a switch flicked in my brain, like my conscience had finally kicked in. i realised what i had done, not only then but in the years before as well._

_and from then on i waited for the perfect chance to escape. eventually it came and honestly, i'm a little rusty on the details but i managed to sneak onto a boat headed for south korea. i was 16 at the time and my family had no idea. they still have no idea._

_anyway, to put a long story short, i lived on the streets for a while and occasionally was given a place to sleep by a few nice strangers and... some who had ulterior motives._

_and then, at last, i found the estate agents, 5 months ago. and, as luck would have it, i could afford an apartment with what little money i had made from begging._

_and the rest is history._   
_and park, don't look at me like that. i know you thought i was "innocent and cute bambam who doesn't deserve a single shred of pain or violence"... yeah... sorry to burst that bubble._

_i've probably seen more shit than you._

bambam coughed, unable to make eye contact with either of them. mark could hardly contain his shock and, to be fair, horror, at bambam's story.

but bambam quickly shut off these thoughts, "so mark... your turn,"

_well.._


End file.
